Why do I let myself stress out things I CANNOT control??? This week has been yet another trying week with the nursing board. Perhaps the most stressful thus far. It's affecting my sleep and I seem to be always thinking about it and writing emails in my mind and thinking of more "what ifs". Granted, the sleep is because I am 12 hrs ahead of America... so when I get an email in the "Afternoon" it's early morning here. So if I awake at ANY point in the night, I grab my beloved IPhone and check emails... which these days there is always something waiting on me, and then I can't sleep, so I MUST respond. In my defense, if I had waited on most of the emails in the last few days, it would have only delayed the end result. (yes, I CAN justify my madness.... haha).
Luckily I have an amazing support system. First off there is my love, Wayne. He admits he has learned that on some things I will simply flip out and there is nothing that can be done to chill me out. Sadly, I admit that he is right on this one. It's just who I am and how I've always been. I think I've chilled out to a point on some things.. but not on everything. However, this usually is what motivates me. When in college, I sometimes had 2 or 3 MONTHS to complete a project. "yeah yeah... next week" was always my attitude. I would attempt to write whatever assignment was assigned...but no luck. (shiney things always distracted me..lol) However, the night before, under extreme stress, I would rise to the occasion and rock out a A+ paper. I AM my own worst enemy. I really am. So anyways, stress and deadlines seem to make me move mountains. If I have all the time in the world.. ehh.. it can wait until tomorrow. Again.. my...own...worst...enemy.
In addition to my love, I have the most amazing parents, friends, and future in laws that a girl could ever wish for! Seriously. And the support system here in Australia is amazing. Wayne's cousin and wife have an Internet phone that calls landlines to America for like a dollar an hour. So they have graciously opened their home and phone line ANY TIME that I need to use it. The other family members are always up to date on what's going on... and they remember what is going on. (and for those of you who are like me, if I have to tell you the WHOLE story every time we talk, then I'm not even going there)
My close friends are always sending me good vibes, positive words, and lots of encouragement. It's like my closest friends can tell my moods and emotions by a simple text. THAT is true friendship. I can say "hey, what's up" and get "what's wrong?" in response. My TRUE BEST FRIENDS just know me I guess....
And my parents.. god love them.... ESP MY DAD!!! They are in the middle of their own stuff with trying to sell their house in KY to move to their FL home....in addition to the shit they are going through with my niece........however my dad has spent hours looking through boxes of papers... has drove to my college a few times... and anytime I need anything, all I have to do is ask. I could go on a lot about the negatives in my life and family, but hell.... the good things are soooo amazing that the negatives seem sooooo small...if not non existent! I guess sometimes we focus on the bad so long that we over look the good?
So, I continue with emails, phone calls, facepalms, lack of sleep, and EXTREMELY high stress levels... all knowing in the end I will look back and go "yeah, it took a bit of work, but it all worked out". And then there will be something else that will keep me stressed and blogging... work, weddings, babies, etc. I will never run out of things to bitch complain about.. what is they say..women dont' burp or fart, so we must bitch or we will explode.
Not a word Wayne... not. a. word.
So tonight, it's nearly 11pm, I'm about to start dinner and put in "dumb and dumber" in an attempt to turn my mind offfffff..
"I've got worms!" hahaha.. oh I can quote this movie line for line. Maybe turning my head off before I go to bed will be the trick.. I'd love to sleep past 5:30am tomorrow... that would be a record this week!
Love to you all and if you have been someone in this blog that I have mentioned... thank you. much love, always.
Until next time......
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