Challenge: Fail...

Now there's a surprise! lol.  In my defense, I have been dealing with 24/7 "morning" sickness (I'd love to find the s.o.b. who titled it that and choke them... I would have loved morning sickness!), and had a Bruce Springsteen concert to attend.  So, some decent reasons to slack on the blogging.

And even though I have missed enough entries now to not be eligible for any prizes, I am going to spend some time this evening making some more blog entries and catch up.  I'll be like the Jamaican bob sled team.  I am gonna crash, and won't win, but I'll pick up my bob sled and run over the finish line.

Or something like that.  

Anyways, a quick update away from the challenge while I'm at it?  Wayne is currently in route to Africa for a work trip.  Hopefully this one is a one-off trip and not an ongoing trip.  I don't mind the work trips, but the international ones are difficult, especially when you are sick.  So many hours where you cannot get in touch with them.  I guess if the first trimester had been easier, it wouldn't have been as big of a concern.  His last trip to Mongolia, I couldn't even drive myself up the street to the hospital or a 10 minute drive to my doctors office.  Things like that first off, make you really miss your partner.  But secondly it makes you really appreciate how awesome your in-laws are.

Anyways, this week I'll be 12 weeks and nearly out of the first trimester.  Since Friday, I haven't vomited and that makes me nearly do dances of joy!!  The dizziness from the low blood pressure still comes and goes, but it doesn't seem AS bad when I'm actually able to eat AND keep it down.  Last night, I had "fourth" meal, followed by a midnight snack.  Considering the inability to eat much over the last few weeks, it was a well welcomed change!  Today I was able to go shopping with my friend, Erin, and stopped in at our cousins house for a cuppa and visit.  Was really nice to be out of the house and not be thinking the whole time "I wanna go home to bed".  So, I'm quite happy to be feeling better, and am certainly hoping this trend continues!  I've only been working on average of two days a week for the last few weeks.  I have been getting really sick of being home and feeling alone all day, not being able to eat, which means little energy and just feeling like total shit.

Ok, enough whinging.... I feel great today, and am actually looking FORWARD to working tomorrow!! I will now take wagers on how long it takes for someone to change that tomorrow?  haha.

Ok, off to finish some MKR and then catch up on some blogs.  Three blogs people.. count them... THREE blogs to come tonight.

Well, I'll try.  lol.

Expat Challenge; Day 6

Today's expat challenge is:

"Prompt: I would/would not move to another country after this."

I think it would be safe to say that this is a conversation every expat has had, either with their family/partner/employer, or at least with themselves.   

Those who have never had to make the move to another country don't fully grasp what all goes in to this sort of move.  It's a lot of giving up.  Giving up all of your comforts.  Giving up all your near friends and family.  Even giving up some... or, in my case, a LOT of personal possessions.  For those moving over for work, the 15-25K of shipping expenses is covered.  For those moving for relationship purposes, that's a huge expense that if can be spared, is.  After my divorce, I had rebuilt my entire life, and that included furniture, decorations, wall hangings, etc.  I don't think you realise how much possessions become a part of who you are until you are making piles of what you can't live without, what you may be ok without, and what you are fine to get rid of.  After 2 and a half years, I sorta have most of the important things in my possession here in Perth.  And sure, it's just possessions, but it's part of the transition to another country.

I grew up in a small town and spent my adult life 30 minutes north in Lexington (which is where I consider "home").  I was always a short drive from any of my friends and family.  I was always the type of friend that if you needed me, I'm there.  One day after working a night shift, my best friend, Autumn and her husband were moving.  I said I couldn't help due to the shift the night before.  Until I read on facebook as I was laying in bed that nobody who had agreed to help move had showed up.  Without thinking of how exhausted I was, I was out the door and showed up until more people showed up, which took about 2 hours of moving.  It's just who I am really.   Since moving here, I've had many friends encounter troubles and pain.  It's so hard for me to be able to only be there for them by the phone and not be able to just pop in my car and drive over.  This caused a lot of problems for me when I first moved over, it made my home sickness a bazillion times worse.

Adjusting to a new life in a new country is not hard, but it's certainly not easy.  For Australia, it's all English, but there are a lot of learning curves, including words to use and not use.  For more info on this, feel free to read this entry from last year. I've learned to drive on the wrong side of the road.  I've learned how to maneuver around a shopping mall (which is like playing frogger here in Perth....... but that's another topic!).  

I've also had the amazing experience of being welcomed by Wayne's family directly into the family from day one.  I've been at the same job and have a lot of professional relationships there.  And I have made some really amazing friends here (most of who are fellow yanks, lol).  

So, would I move again?

I would hate to say "no".  Because, if  had been closed minded about making that big of a move in the first place, I wouldn't be here now.  I am in a wonderful marriage and expecting our first little miracle.  Perth has amazing weather and is just gorgeous.  Australia is amazing for the work/family balance, and I will be able to stay at home with our kids until they are in school.  Health care isn't a concern here, like it is in America.

Having said that, I'm not sure that the drastic changes that come with uprooting your life is something I am game to do again, and especially now that we have a baby on the way.  I love the fact that I will be able to stay home and raise our kids.  I love the fact that Wayne is from a huge family and we have so much support, and all reasonably close to our house.  I've adjusted.  I feel like I belong; which is not a feeling I had at first..... at.....all.   Everything seems right and everything seems normal.

I have no regrets about moving across the world to be with the love of my life.  But I'm home now.  And home is where I want to be.

Expat Challenge; Day 5

Prompt: I was at the airport, and....

I got put on the flight alert list.

You got it.  Sweet old me is on a list as a flight alert.

Didn't expect this did you?  And if you are a friend of mine, you already know this story well.  But of all my journeys and trips, this one even to this day, cracks me up.

So the story.   It was May 2010.  My divorce had been finally finalised after a few months (thank GOD!).  I had been talking for hours on end to a friend from high school that lived in Texas.  We had reconnected in March after I had moved into my own apartment.  He inboxed everyone on his fb page (we had become fb friends a couple years prior from memory) that a friend had hit a rough patch and was asking for anyone to send a message of hope, prayer, etc for her to lift her spirits.  Of course I did and with the message just said hi to him and hoped all was well in Texas.  He replied and asked for my phone number, which I gave and within 10 minutes he called.  We talked for hours, about where life had taken us since our High School Graduation in 1998 when we had last seen each other and spoken.  He confided a lot of personal things and we laughed about a lot of experiences we had together in High School.  We were both in the Marching Band.  I was color guard and he was percussion.  So we had heaps of mutual friends as well.

This conversation started a crazy journey for me.  It was a crazy time of my life, and it really was a nice distraction to everything going on with my divorce and my crazy ex husband.  A few weeks later, he asked me to come for a visit in Texas.  

This was my first trip of my life flying alone.  Going to Texas was not when I got myself in trouble.  It was coming back....

The trip went relatively well.  I could easily see within a short period after getting back home to Kentucky it was not a relationship that should happen or would last.  At the time though, I was gutted.  The night before I left he told me that he didn't want a relationship.  At the airport, he dropped me off at the "drop and run" lane, which I thought was hurtful.  I got in to the airport and once checked in, I went and found my gate and confirmed on the TV screen that it was my flight.  I look at my watch and see I have about 60 minutes to kill.  I look directly behind me.... a bar.  Lovely.  I have time to get a quick drink, use the bathroom, and board the plane.  What could go wrong?

Ohhh........  a lot.   First off, emotions hit me as I sat at the bar and I started crying....before I even was served a damn drink.  I had come to terms the night before that the relationship wasn't gonna happen, but the drop and run had really hurt my feelings.  I was also dealing with a lot of emotions that I discovered from the trip.  You see, before the trip I was at a place in my life where I was questioning a lot.  Do I want to attempt a relationship and risk getting hurt... yet again?   Do I want kids someday, or am I just risking myself for more pain if I can't conceive, or if I pick another "winner" and end up a single mom with baby daddy drama?   He had a little girl who I had spent a lot of time with on the trip, and basically left Texas with this confirmation that yes, I wanted a relationship and that yes, I wanted my own children some day.  

As I'm drinking, some older gentleman bought a drink and sent over to my way.  Who knew crying would score ya a drink at a bar?  I thought that was frowned upon?  But hey, with the price of airport Makers and Coke, I didn't wanna be rude and turn it down.    And after that, I think I have time for ONE more.    

I look at my watch and see that I have about 15 minutes until I "board".  I make my way to the bathroom.  As I am doing my "business", I hear "Last call for Passenger April (insert married name)".  LAST CALL????  You've got to be kidding me.  I grab my things and RUN to the gate I had checked before my three Maker's and Coke's.  There is a cue with people boarding.  "Shew", I think "made it....."  I get up to the front and they look at my ticket,  "Oh, there was a last minute gate change.. you are down on gate 15".   I am currently at gate 10.  So I take off running towards my gate.  Nobody is there.  I can see the gate pulling back away from MY plane.  MY plane is still there.  

So, I do what any slightly intoxicated, emotional person would do.  I start banging on the door.  If they can hear me, they'll know to come and open the door, right?  Wrong.  Banging on a door only gets the attention of airport security.  Next thing I know, a 6'3'' ish big man in uniform has come over and grabbed my arm.  "Mam, what's going on over here?"  "I need to get on THAT plane (as I point in case he isn't sure which plane I am wanting to board....) and they have locked the door".  He looks me up and down and says "Mam, since 9-11 you can't beat on airplane doors.  I need you to come with me".   The first thing that enters my mind is "so, before 9-11 it was perfectly ok to beat on airport doors?"  and even though I am slightly intoxicated, I do have enough sense to keep quiet.

He walks me to a room and asks me a few questions and asks for my passport.  Questions about who I am, why I was in Texas, what I do for a living.  In regards to the passport, I, however, did not have an active passport.  Once I married, I never got my passport name changed.  Since this flight was booked before I had changed my name back to my maiden name, I also hadn't changed my drivers license so I would have a form of I.D. for the Texas trip.  I did not mention this though, and just said "I don't have a passport".  "Your ID will suffice".  He fills out some paperwork and I start crying again, realizing I had to work the next day.... I couldn't call in.  I HAD to be home.  He explains to me something about a flight risk and a list and all I heard was "blah blah blah".  I blurted out, "but can I fly home today?"  He said to me "I don't work for the airline, I work for the department of (insert word here that intoxicated April can't recall)".   From here he lead me out of the room to the airline and explained the situation.  I was put on another plane that day.  

When I got home, my suitcase was a mess.  My nice neatly packed suitcase looked like a bomb had gone off, but I still didn't think about it.  It wasn't until I shared my experience with some friends that I realised exactly what had happened.  As soon as my married name was changed to my maiden name, I used my passport for every travel experience and the flight risk hasn't followed me....... yet........

  

Expat Challenge; Day Four

Today's expat challenge is to look at the 5th post you ever wrote on this blog. In hindsight, what do you think about your frame of mind and your style of writing.

My fifth entry wasn't a lengthy one, shocking as it may be. Click here to read the entry.  I had gotten off work, and had apparently had a crappy night for no reason apparently...but working with the public this happens... a lot...... especially in health care AND on night shift. Ya know the "you aren't yourself when you're hungry" Snickers commercial? Similar applies to night shift. You live in a state of exhaustion, even when you're certain you've had enough sleep.   But, I had good news that trumped the mood! 

I recall that raise very well. I remember feeling so shocked at the amount. My hospital had been on major cuts, and I had heard a few people mention their raises to others. I personally have never liked to discuss my salary with others, esp coworkers. That's a dangerous area. But, I had over heard a few people had gotten around 0.5-1.5%. So I was sure that I wasn't getting much. I walked in for my review with very little expectations, and walked out with a 4.5% raise. Of course, I played it cool and when asked by coworkers, "what did you get?" I made a joke that I was enrolled in the jelly of the month club (Christmas Vacation reference) and really was excited.....and casually changed the subject, while my coworkers giggled and never even realised what just happened. lol

So to answer my frame of mind. Recovering financially after my divorce was a difficult recovery. And not just the divorce, the one sided "help me pay my shit off" marriage (that I was so blind and stupid throughout). I had gotten a really nice raise (especially in comparison to others as well as my expectations). But the most important thing at that moment for me was the fact I would be off at Christmas and New Years when Wayne was coming to America for the holidays. You have a better chance of hitting the lottery than being off both of those holidays (both the day of AND the eve's) working in a large hospital. And for me, at that moment, I HAD hit the lottery.

My style of writing? Well, this entry was September 16, 2010. Or 16 September 2010 if you prefer. So 3 years and almost five months ago. My writing hasn't really changed much. I still use a LOT of periods........ as in, too many...... see what I mean? I still capitalise words when they are emphasised. (see last line of above paragraph). Sometimes I may bold them or put them in italics, but depends on my mood.  Usually I feel capitalised should suffice.  But then, and now, I blog what's on my mind, and in my heart. Even if it's random, and may be pointless to others. For me, each entry has some sort of significance. Either documenting a time, a place, an event, a feeling. Even if the feeling is boredom and blogging because I got damn tired of scrolling on FB and all the blogs I follow haven't had an updated entry. My style is honesty, rambling, and a bit of humor, even though a lot of times it's not intentional, sarcasm strikes and readers have a laugh. I may not always be able to tell people how I feel in person, and I wear a mask at work... the one over my face where you can tell I am asking "are you REALLY serious?". But here in my blog, honesty is served up fresh with every blog. Well, most blogs. With a side of sarcasm, and for dessert? A big scoop of awesome. HAHA.

Ok, so there's 4 of 4 in the books. I'm impressed.

February Expat Challenge; Day 3

I told my husband "I guess I better blog and keep up my good record" and we both laughed that I'm actually still keeping up.  You see, this is not my first blogging challenge.  Well, it's my first group challenge and the first time that I didn't seek out and go "I wanna do a challenge".  I don't even recall how I found out about the challenge.  Perhaps on one of the Yanks in Australia FB pages?  I don't know, but I'm digging it.  I've had several challenges that I failed at, and didn't even finish.  Hell, if you go to my Thanksgiving Post you'll see that I didn't even finish the post.  I was naming 12 things I was thankful for, and let 12 blank... and it wasn't even on purpose.  I had a friend message me that it was a funny and fitting post as I'm always joking how I never finish things before I even realized I had done that.  It's so "me" though.  Sigh.... I amaze myself sometimes.... lol.

So, today's challenge.  Monday's for the month of the challenge are photo challenges.  That's pretty cool and I've always enjoyed doing photo-type entries, although I'm quite long winded already for a photo blog entry?  Eh, I'm from the South.  We talk... a lot.... lol.  Today's challenge is "an object that makes me feel at home".  This entry a few years ago would have been a long one with a LOT of pictures.  I was homesick so frequently when I first moved that a lot of comforts of home made me feel at home.  But I struggle with this entry a bit, because now I am home.  Perth and Australia is my home.  It wasn't something that occurred overnight, and certainly not something that didn't occur after a hell of a lot of effort and work on my part.  It's not something that happens over night either.  TV shows that I loved made me feel at home.  So many Aussie shows, that I now love, at the time were just so foreign and even though it's English, there were times it could have been Japanese and I wouldn't have known the difference.  People Barracking for teams, and people in the "hills" with "bushfires", "uni" students back at "uni".  Primary schools and school holidays.  (As a side note, who else is stoked MKR is back on???).  But yeah, everything felt different and everything that I experienced that I had no clue what was going on, made me feel different as well.  Going to the grocery was overwhelming.  All these brands, are they good?  Are they shit?  Is this a good sale?  

If you are following me as a blogger due to the challenge, you are learning I'm a rambler, eh?  lol

Anyways, I now love Australia and it feels like home.  And while I could post pictures of the things that make me think of my beloved American home, I am sadly drawing a blank.  Now, tonight as I fight insomnia, I'm sure I'll think of a million things I should have shared.  That's a given.  But instead, I'll share two things that have happened today that make me feel at home.

Ok, I have loved football since I was a little girl.  My dream as a kid of what I wanted to be when I grew up was the First FEMALE NFL player.  The catch was nobody was allowed to tackle or hurt me (such a princess, right?).  My dad later explained that I could be anything I wanted, but that the rules would apply to me as they did everyone else.  (kudos to dad, huh?).  I love football and last year was the first time I have missed the Super Bowl.  Everyone back home has Super Bowl Sunday.  Here, if you want to watch live, you get up at 7am to be ready for a 730 am kick off.  Football in the daytime, and EARLY feels wrong.  So wrong.  But that's the way it is.  Granted, you could always DVR it and watch in the evening, avoiding all media (internet and radio) all day.  Which is what I did last year, only to get home to discover the damn game DIDN'T record.  Needless to say, I was home this morning (partially thanks to morning sickness anyways) and watched the game.  I love football, and I do miss the social aspect that goes along with football.  The parties, the crisp air in the fall at a live game and of course, tailgating.  But hey, until Australia realises how awesome NFL is, this is what I have to settle for, and I'm slowly coming to terms with this.  Slowly......   

I will admit this game was a boring game.  I am a GB Packers Fan, so I went into this game slightly preferring Denver, but really just hoping for a good game.  I was so disappointed.  It was just a slaughter of Denver.  From the first play Denver never had a chance.  It's like they didn't show up.

Oh, commercials are also not aired here, so I am jelly of this.

The next picture is from a doctors appointment this morning.  The reason this makes me feel at home, is it's our own little miracle.  It makes me see the bigger picture, and goes back to my post from yesterday.  Like everyone else, I have had times in my life where I felt lost, but I can look back on the past now, and look at this little face and see that I'm exactly where I was meant to be.

This little one has totally captured my heart already.  Arms were waving, legs were moving,  and he/she (I still feel like baby is a SHE!) was an active little booger this morning!   My cup runneth over.

Until next time....

February Expat Challenge; Day Two

Today's Challenge:  Respond to this quote - “Not all those who wander are lost.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

I have sat and reflected on how to respond to this quote for a while now.  Over an hour.  Granted, I also have a facebook tab open and every notification I get is like a shiny red ball "ohhh....." and the ADHD kicks in.  It's not multitasking at all, lol.  

Anyways, back to today's challenge.

If you are a regular reader of mine, you know that quotes are huge for me.  I have always had a strange love for quotes and still read them on a regular basis.  I find a lot of comfort in quotes and no matter what, I can always find one that I can relate to, for whatever I'm going through.  Same for songs and song lyrics.  So i was pretty stoked to see that every Sunday of the expat challenge is a new quote.  

I do, however, find myself in a new spot.  I've always read quotes/lyrics that speak to me, but I've never had to respond to one and break it down.  Quite thought provoking for myself, as strange as it sounds.

Seriously, back to the challenge this time.

"Not all those who wander are lost".  

I think there is a lot of truth to this quote.  I think "lost" is more of a feeling, than an actual state.  When we take a wrong road and are driving and have no clue where we are, we say we are "lost".  While we may not know where we are, or where we are going to end up, we are still in route.  Does this actually make us lost, or just FEEL lost?  People talk about taking the road less traveled, and again, while on the road less traveled, we feel  lost because we are in new territory.  We have new sights, new smells, new experiences.  But in reality, we only feel lost.  Being in unfamiliar territory is just that, unfamiliar territory.  We must stop pushing ourselves to go outside our comfort zones to turn around and plea that we are "lost".  We are still in motion, and who knows, perhaps the new road will open up more doors and opportunities.  Allow us to meet people who will influence and change our lives (both for the good and the bad).  It's easier to look back on your path and understand why things happened.  When we are going through these situations though, it's much more difficult to understand.  Have faith, push forward, and when life is hard, push harder.  I challenge you to look back at a time when you thought you were "lost"... and mentally track that time and where it brought you, and the lessons you learned from it.  I think you will find that you can relate to a time where you wandered, but you weren't lost.  

When have you been off path?

February Expat Challenge: Day One.

"The View from Where I Write"

In my attempt to get my blogging mojo back, and to save my readers from my first trimester complaints, I am participating in an Expat Blogging Challenge.  Now, if you have been following my blog over the last three and a half years, you know that sticking to blog challenges is not my strongest point.  However, I'm gonna give it a go.  And hey, it IS the shortest month of the year, so I have that going for me, right?

Today's challenge is titled "The View from where I write".  Now, I've had to put some thought into this one.  I am currently writing from our couch.  My feet propped on the coffee table, and in the background the T.V. is going, with "American Horror Story" on at the moment.  The air con is on keeping the house a nice cool temp.   

Exciting first entry huh?

But, lets look a little further.  This room was the first room I viewed on my first trip to Australia when I entered Wayne's home for the first time (before it became "our" home).   This is the room that in a very uncertain time of our relationship (go WAY back in blog for that!) that as Wayne had his arms around me, he told me this would always be my home.  This is the room where we have spent many nights together laughing, and sometimes crying.  This is the very room we sit under our Christmas tree and open presents every Christmas morning.  It's where we sat and realized that this time next year, we would have our own child joining us in the Christmas morning events.  This room is where I have face timed my friends and family, and where I have blogged every blog from Australia in.  This is the room we did all of our wedding planning.... all the millions of details were done from this room.  This is the room where every day after work, Wayne kisses me when he gets home from work.  This list could go on forever.

Directly behind me, is a small glimpse of the sky.  The most gorgeous blue sky you'll ever see.  It's not a colour you can even describe; it's one you must see to appreciate.  And it's certainly not like anything you'll see in Kentucky.  Especially not on the first day of February.

I guess like all things, you must look deeper to fully appreciate things sometimes.  At first glance, the view I'm writing from is quite a boring place.  But in reality, it's so much more.