Merry Christmas..... and updates and stuff.

I am soo far behind on blogging!!!  So, I'll do a quick catch up!

Work.

Work is going pretty good.  I have found a new area of interest, the cancer unit.  I worked there a shift and totally loved it!  I've had a lot of personal dealing with cancer in my life (thankfully never with me, but with family and close friends) and I always wondered how I would like it.  And I know that some days would be harder than others, but hey, that's any area of nursing to be honest.  All areas have their good and bad features.  I'm starting to get more comfortable, as all the public hospitals all have the same systems, including their charting paperwork.  And a lot of the units in the same hospital have the same layout in the nursing stations with the same things in the same spots... so that definitely helps and makes you feel more confident.  Now if only they will make all the codes the same to doors, like the toilet!!! lol.

Christmas!

I had an absolutely wonderful Christmas.  It definitely felt weird with the temperatures being warm... I'm use to cold, sometimes snow or rain, but always cold and usually dreary.  And a late sun rise and an early sun set.  TOTAL opposite down here!  It was warm, mid 80'sF/32C, not a cloud in the sky.  The festivities started on Christmas Eve at Wayne's mom's house.  All of his dad's family came over and we had a blast.  All the kids were running around and having such a good time.  It's been so long since I've been around little ones at Christmas, and it was a blast.  Really enjoyed it.  All the excitement about Santa coming, what they wanted him to bring, etc.  Really just had a great time.  Christmas eve night Wayne went to help his brother put together at trampoline that "Santa" was bringing.... and that look longer than anticipated, so I had a slight episode of being home sick, but all good.  The Jim Beam I'm sure didn't help.

Christmas day started off a little off, totally my fault.  I thought we had to be at mass at 10 (it started at 9) and I thought it was a little after 7am (nope, 815!) so I quickly got showered and dressed and showed up to mass on time, and with a slight hangover.  lol.  I'm sure I wasn't the only one there with one though.  Anyways, we went to Wayne's mom and exchanged gifts, came home and exchanged gifts, then went to his Aunt's on his mom's side for Christmas with that half of the family.  Again, was a great time!!  Really enjoyed myself and our first Christmas together here in Oz.

For the first time that I ever remember, I used a curse word in excitement when opening my big gift from Wayne......

For those of you who don't know who Randall Cobb is, he was my FAVORITE UK football player who was recruited to Greenbay Packers and this year is his rookie season, and he's made some big plays and gotten quite a bit of media attention.  It's very uncommon for a ROOKIE to get an actual jersey printed (an official one at that!).  This.  Made.  My.  Day!  In addition I got a day spa voucher, a beautiful vase (which I have hinted now he has to bring me flowers regularly to use.... hehehe) and some peanut butter Lendor (sp?) chocolates that are just sooo freaking delicious!!!

I got Wayne a PlayStation 3, a second controller, hdmi cable, 3 games, and 6 hot wheels that he had eyed at Toys R Us when shopping for the kids of the family.  When purchasing the PS3, the guy working, who was about 18 informed me that I was the best girlfriend in the world.  LMAO.  He was pretty stoked and we've had a lot of fun playing it (when we've been able to! lol)

The week after Christmas, Wayne was off work so I took some time off to spend some time together.  Because hospitals were slow, all but one of my shifts was cancelled, so we ended up spending more time than we had planned but it was great.  We spent one day at the pool, the next at the beach... then the next at the pool again.  Not a normal December that I'm use to, but I definitely love it!

So this is christmas?

And it's late 80's early 90's...

temperatures....

WTF?

It's great.. it's like a vacation.

But it's certainly NOT christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hindsight 20/20

We all look back on things and think "if I only had known (blank)".  Well, today out boredom, I got on my facebook app "get old status".  It goes all the way back to July 2009 of every status update you've posted.  I read back over them.. and it's amazing in a little over 2 years how much my life has changed.  Not just from then to now, but how much things changed over the course of the 2 years (and several months).  Times when I was sad.  Good times with great friends.  Trying times.  Quotes (what.. ME?? Post a quote?? noooo... lol).  But one thing I found entertaining (and blog worthy) was the statuses in the "beginning" of this Australian journey.  After the tearful part in August 2011.  Here are some things I had to say (and i'll add commentary when needed).....

Sunday 1st of August 2010:
"Yeah, I'm ready to feel now No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down It must be time to move on now Without the fear of how it might end I guess I'm ready, ready to love again." love some Lady A...and loving life. Feeling so good tonight."

Ok, looking back on the date and time of this I realize I was being pretty damn forward.  This was posted right after I got word that Wayne was coming back to Lexington to spend more time with me... several days earlier than planned.  And it was a "hey, I'm on my way to your house, be there in a few hours"... lol.  Even though he knew I had to work and I'm sure there were many other places (and speedways) and FUN things he could have done.  Anyways, this was what I posted right after that.  

  

Sunday 8th of August 2010

"the house is already too quiet"

This was posted right after Wayne left to head to the airport.  When I fought myself not to look like a crazy woman and chase after him to the airport.  Telling myself he would think I was crazy, don't be "THAT" girl.  (Turns out, he was looking for my car the entire way, and kept thinking he'd see me at the airport.)  I should've followed my gut.  (again, hindsight...)

Monday 9th of August 2010 

back to the real world of night shift nursing. Sigh. A lot of things and people on my mind as I snuggle into bed in an extremely quiet apartment. Time flies when we are having fun. Back to reality...

Pretty self explanatory?

Thursday 12th of August 2010
"Feels love for the first time tonight. And not sure I know how to fix it. As the girl who has it together I don't know how to pull this one together."

I'm thinking this was around the time we were putting it all out there, but not a clue what to do with it once it was out there.

Saturday 14th of August 2010 
"I having a fin blast but missing someone... "

This was at a bachelorette party... riding around in a hummer limo.  I was having a blast, but my mind was miles away... 11K miles to be exact.

Monday 16th of August 2010 
"And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Ah, yes.  A quote.  From my favorite movie, When Harry Met Sally.  I remember watching this movie during this time and balling during this scene, due to all the emotions going on.  That movie went from a movie I liked, to one of my favorite movies during this time.  And it still is one of my favorites.

Tuesday 17th of August 2010
"has never done anything completely spontaneous....this could change that.... "

Following a discussion of "what now" which lead to the discussion of the nursing shortage in Australia... and this status lead to a LOT of text messages and emails from friends.. lol.  The same explanation applies to the next status!

Wednesday 18th of August 2010
ah hah!!!! Figured out the master plan. Now to make it happen....

Wednesday 18th of August 2010 
“After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

Thursday 19th of August 2010 
"just had an awesome chat with Jessica Carman Wade. Feeling great about things."

Jessica is one of my very very dear friends.  We met when we were in high school in Marching Band (...."this one time... at band camp....") and over the years have developed we have a lot in common, ESPECIALLY in our very twisted sense of humor.  Turns out, her Australian husband, was also from Perth.  Where Wayne is from (and where I now live.... ohh...forgot to add.. *spoiler alert*..lmao)  After being totally stressed out about immigration, travel, etc, etc, etc, Jess and I talked on the phone for ages.  And I still can remember the peace of mind I had after talking to her.  After all, she knew what she was talking about.  Not only is she a smart cookie, but she's in the international marriage and so the customs and immigration stuff is not a new thing to her.  And she's a straight shooter.  No bull shit.  Like it or not, she's just straight forward.  One of her many awesome qualities. 

Friday 20th of August 2010 
"five days before I'm thirty.........and I've never been sure of anything in my life. Until now. Never been more sure."

Sunday 22nd of August 2010
"had a nice little vacation approval signed and on her mailbox at work. Time to book a flight and get the passport out. November won't get here fast enough..."

Obviously, the vacation was for my first trip to Perth.

And I'll go off track a bit here.  Because, well, hell.  I do that.  A LOT.  Speaking of hindsight.  In December 2009, I was cleaning out some stuff in the office in the house that I lived in with my ex.  I had a box of papers from nursing school and such that just needed to be cleaned out.  I came across my passport.  It had my maiden name in it, and since I was married when I found it, and my ID had the new name, this passport was no longer valid.  I thought to myself "well, I need to get a new one.. but why? Not like I'm ever gonna need one?" and I placed it in the trash pile.  Later I picked up the trash pile and carried it to the trash, however on the way to the trash (down the stairs) the passport fell out.  I kept going and came back.... hell, I'm NOT a graceful person, and in an attempt to pick up one thing, I just knew I'd drop like 10 more things that were trash.  So, I carried on, and went back.  I opened up the passport, and saw the stamp from a trip to the Caribbean in 2007.  I decided to keep the passport, for souvenir purposes only.

Fast forward to May 14, 2010.  My last name changed back to my maiden name after the divorce.  At that day, my passport became active again.  And to think, it almost went to the dumpster.

Tuesday 24th of August 2010 
"just got her first 30th bday package and card..... Grinning from ear to ear..... :) "

Tuesday 24th of August 2010
"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense Never let your prayin knees get lazy And love like crazy"

Lyrics from a song that became one of my favorite songs, and still is.  Made me think of us, and how crazy we were.... about each other, annnnd...well, just in general! lol

Saturday 11th of September 2010 
"ticket to australia booked! Tailgating and UK game. This is am AWESOME day! "

Monday 27th of September 2010 
"sometimes, 11K miles seems so close...others very far away. This is one of the far away days...and for no reason.... maybe the cold rain?? sigh.... 4 weeks, 2 days... "

Thursday 30th of September 2010
“"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh. "I wish I were there to be doing it, too."

Monday 25th of October 2010

"a sweet text from my Aussie before crashing is the perfect recipe for a smile. =D. I love my life. As complicated as it may seem to everyone else. But to me. It's quite simple....."

Monday 25th of October 2010 
"I can’t take another day without you ‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you And to be back in your arms where I belong"



Tuesday 16th of November 2010
"knew this was gonna be hard... but had *no* idea it would be THIS hard... "

Obviously, this was when I was about to return to the US after my first trip here.

So, I'll stop there.  There were many others that I could use, because apparently I update my facebook status a lot, especially when I'm excited about things!! LOL!  This was a long entry, and I'm sure nobody is reading this anymore, lol.  But that's fine, I keep this more for my own sake, and I enjoyed reading the old statuses and remembering the details behind them.  God, sometimes it feels like just a few weeks ago.  Sometimes I can't believe we've only been together 16 months.

Until next time.



Completely Overwhelmed.

Perhaps I spoke (or in this case, blogged) too soon.  Monday and Tuesday afternoon I worked in a large hospital here in Perth, and both days were HELL (mostly because of the staff).  Yesterday I nearly cried numerous times (not really like me!!) and felt incompetent.  At one stage, I stepped into the break room for a breather and I told myself "You ARE A good nurse, you CAN do this, do NOT let PEOPLE ruin your day, only YOU can control how your shift goes".  I walked out feeling at peace, but that was quickly replaced with stress once I was chewed out (yet again) for things beyond my control.  I talked to my agency and they supported me and are looking further into my complaints.  I was suppose to work today, but the good thing about being agency is you can say "yeah" or "neah" as far as working.  So I told them this morning that I was taking the day off, so I took a mental health day.  I didn't sleep in, because when I'm super stressed I don't sleep (as I've blogged about) so I spent the morning with the twins and their mum, did some shopping, and a little cleaning.  I am suppose to work tomorrow (haven't been confirmed for a shift yet) and am so hoping that tomorrow is better. 

Some of the differences of nursing here verses America are small, some are big.  I've been doing this for quite some time now.  I'm not new to this field, but I've never felt so lost as I have this week.  Almost like a fish out of water... who has been out of the water far too long, gasping for air to live.  A few times in extreme stress I think "I can't do this".  And I am really doubting my ability to learn to practice in a new country.  Well, at least based on the last two days.  I so hope tomorrow will be a shift to give me renewed faith in myself and my skills.

For now, time to cook some dinner.  Until next time...

iSurvived.

lol.. hopefully my fellow Apple lovers will appreciate the title?  lol.

I just completed my first shift as an RN in Australia!!!  I'm not sure if I fully comprehend the importance of this at this time (think about it, it's a pretty BIG deal!)  However, I was majorly stressed leading into the shift.  I didn't sleep well the night prior, Wayne was away after 9pm for a sleep study (will explain later) and when I attempted a nap in the afternoon prior to my shift (didn't start until 3pm) I had crazy dreams that made me wish I had just gone sleep deprived!!  However, I survived!! Nursing in Australia is similar to America, but oh sooooo different.  (and of course, this is based on just my experience today).  It was actually easier.  I loved it!  And I am honestly excited about when I get to work again!  I posted this on my Facebook..

Report after first shift as a nurse..... (this may be long!) not working 12 hours is great. They document less here because of less malpractice issues.. which is helpful. The patients don't act like they are at a bed and breakfast. I ACTUALLY GOT MY BREAKS! Not only had the chance to take a break, but was FORCED to take them. Wow! And!!! I didn't come home mentally and physically WIPED. I ...have missed nursing more than I ever realized and realize that is why god put me on this earth. Yes, I had a few (ok, a lot) of things to overcome, but I did it. I'm sure in a bigger hospital it may be different, but tonight was great. And I can't thank my boyfriend, Wayne Ratajczak and ALL my friends and family (both family here and back in the states) enough for their well wishes, kind words, love, and support. Unlike in America, I can't WAIT until I work again! Thanks again to all you for everything, you are amazing friends and family!!!!! xoxo

I think that sums it up!  It's kinda surreal... the thing I fought so hard for.. has actually happened!!  Wow.  It's a bigger moment than I think I realize at the moment.

Regardless, I'm so happy to be a nurse (again) and doing actual nursing work.  It was so fullfilling today... and I simply can't put it into words.

And I truly cannot thank my boyfriend, family (here and at home), and friends enough.  Their support, kind words, emails, texts, fb messages, etc.... have been overhwhelming and so supportive.  What would I do without you guys!?

Saturday night we have date night at a NEW mexican restaurant (which is a hard thing to find here!).... AFTER an hour and a half full body massage with hot stones!!  I could so get use to this!!!!! Work one day... have a massage and date the next....... call me a princess, I don't care!! LOL

Much love.. til next time!

Update.

So!!! 3 out of 4 jobs quit. Ok, one I was fired from, but for bullshit reasons. And may have been a blessing in disguise. And their reason was CRAP. I tell them when I'm not available... and yet they call me on those days... then bitch about my availability. REALLY? But not worried about it at all!

Today was my last day with the elderly man with Parkinsons.  I walked away so sad though.  He's almost become a grandpa to me, and I would love to keep in touch.  I told his daughter to call me if ever in a pinch..but he's the type I would love to drop in on.... unpaid!  He feels like family...if that makes sense?  We'll see what evolves into?  I don't wanna drop in and upset the family?  We'll see... we'll see...

So I start on Friday as a NURSE with a new agency.  Which may require a train commute.  Who the hell am I???  A TRAIN??  I sound like a big girl, huh? lol.  But seriously.. the pay is great and I'm looking at possibly working sunday-thursday.  The pay on Sunday is amazing...

But...

I'm so scared.

I haven't worked as a nurse in like five months.... and everything is so different here!   Tylenol is Paracetamol.  It's a whole new world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**deep breaths**

I know I can do it, but I just feel I will be overwhelmed in the beginning.  And the fact that I NEED sponsorship to STAY here is ALWAYS in the back of my mind!   My folks come in Feb (which I soooooooooooooooooooo cannot wait for!! I miss them more than I can put in writing!!!) and if I'm still with agency then, it could be good... cause I make my own hours.  But July is staring at me (end of July 2012 is when my visa expires!  Yeah, moving internationally is NOT that easy!) and I really want things to tie up!

In other news, not much to report!  Life is good.  Still dealing with some other "shit".  Shit that I should NOT be having to deal with.  At all.  But what do you do?  You decide if the person you are with is worth it and go from there. I'm a big quote girl, and I once read "God will never give you more than you can handle.  I just wish he didn't trust me so much".  And it's soooo true. I really wish he didnt' trust me this much, because I'm really on the border of how much shit I can take.  I think that realistically it would take just one more ounce on my load for me to just crumble and fall.

We'll see how the next few weeks develop.  I can say without hesitation that I love Wayne with everything I have, and cannot imagine myself without him.  He is my everything.  And I know my true friends understand this, and say how they've never seen me THIS happy.  We talked today about the good times we've had.  And good lord, we've had some amazing times.  If I had to write it all out (in regards to our fun times) I would run out of paper and ink.   And it's so amazing to me that the best friend I confided EVERYTHING in, is the one I love.  I mean, the shit I confided in him is enough to make any other guy RUN in the other direction?!!!?

Anyways, we are now over the hump, and although he won't be home to sleep tomorrow night (sleep study before surgery) I still get to see him, and feel his arms around me.  Which is, the most amazing thing in the world.

Until next time...

Up LATE.........

And not because of snoring (although that will sooooooon be a reason.).

Not because of insomnia.

But because I had online things to do for the job I go in the morning for induction to. 

HOWEVER.... the website...

Keeps...

CRASHING.

For those of you who know me... you know patience is far from one of my "strong" points.  However, I impressed myself tonight.  Didn't stress...(even after almost 2 hours of videos... and after intense research, there was no way to skip!)..... ended up emailing the person I meet with tomorrow the "error" information.

Granted...

Yes.  I have had some time to do this.  Well, as organized as I may appear, I am such a horrible procrastinator!!

Anyways!  The weekend was great.  Our friend, Michelle had a bday on Wednesday, so Sat night we went out to dinner... to where?? Tony Roma's! (for my American friends.. yes... THE tony romas).  Food.  Was.  Awesome.  I am so embarrassed to say at one point I was having a food-gasm (my word for food + orgasm?) and I suddenly realized I had totally zoned out of the conversation and was truly enjoying the food THAT much.  So much that I had lost track of the conversation.  Wow.  In my defense, it was my first REAL taste of America in over four months.  It was a little pricier than American prices, but not much.  And guess what I drank???? ICED (fucking) TEA!  My mouth still waters taking about the entire experience.

Tonight was a BBQ in North Freo with some friends (old AND new) and I had a great time.  Sitting around the table, eating, drinking, laughing.  Made me miss friends a little bit though.  It's crazy the things that set off your homesick button (luckily it's not breakdown homesick mode!! Just missing very important people!!!).  But, it happens, and I know that will be the case for a while, if not forever. 

Anyways, there are times sitting with new friends and laughing, that I can't help but think of certain friends and certain events..... nights of laughter, nights of tears, etc, etc.  Esp the friends I developed over the past few years.  In my 20 some odd (ok fine!! 31) years on this Earth, I have developed some amazing friendships.  However, with age comes wisdom (or is it wrinkles?)  and I value my friends so much as I've aged...much more than I ever have in my life.........  Especially those that I have developed that have been with me over the past few years.  As they say, if you wanna know your real friends, enter a storm.  Look to your left, then look to your right.  Those by your side, well those are your TRUE friends.  Cherish them.  And I do.  I just miss them while I cherish them sometimes.

In other news... well not much to report.  The stomach bug last week really knocked me out (with the exception of my picture-clever blog entry? lol!)  Still working on some personal wounds that I wish I wasn't having to deal with and heal.  Trust is something that is earned, not given... and I'm not sure that will ever be fully healed.  I fear of coming off as a bitch at times, because deep down (despite the appearance on the blog) I am such a softy.   Even if I deserve to be a bitch, I feel bad about it later.  Maybe this is part of my problem.  I still wonder though.  Every time a text comes.  Every time he is on the Internet.  Every day he goes to work.  What about the things I don't see?  How do I make that stop?  Add the fact that he is away with work 1/2 of the time.....  I re read a certain message and I can't help but want to puke, and then wonder why.   I guess that's the biggest thing on my mind at the time.  And the reason I just don't sleep well these days.

Speaking of sleep.. I need to hit the sack.  Been writing this waiting for the page for induction to "load" and 30 minutes later it is still not loading!    It's now nearly 2am and I planned on being in bed ages ago. Thanks workpro.com.au for failing so sleep is a fail for me as well.  Oh well, until those tonsils come out it's not like I get much sleep anyways..........

Movie night!

Today was in the 90's!  Tonight, we hit the pool...followed by dinner and movies on the couch.  My how I don't miss being in my 20's and Friday night being one of the "out" nights.  I so enjoyed the night of being in.  Call me old, but I'm only 31.  I'm still young, right?? *anxiously looking for a "yes" nod???*

Life is good, love is great, and the weather is gorgeous.  Who could ask for anything more?  And the weekend has a forecast of sunshine, bbq's, and friends.  THAT is a lovely December forecast my friends.  Lovely.

First's

Not sure what got me thinking about this yesterday, but I started thinking about my "firsts" in life and what those lead to..... perhaps a commercial or something?  I dunno.  But felt like I'd go with it blog wise.  Probably yet another boring blog, but hey, gotta keep up my boring blog reputation, right!? lol

Firsts.

At 16, I got my first car.  1991 Geo Prizm.  Red.  (same as this one, but this wasn't a pic of Susie..yes I named my first car)

I used this for transporting myself to and from school, work, church, to and from friends house..... AND for the infamous railroad jumping.  How the hell that car survived is way beyond me. 

At 18, I got my first Email. 

Unfortunately, email accounts did not come with....

Because, I was the gullible 18 year old that when I got the email that I was the only known family member of Prince What'sHisName and was gonna get millions of dollars once I "follow this link".  I actually did click that link.  Which equaled the blue screen of death.  My first of many.  Ah, there's another first for ya.  My first blue screen of death.. age 18.  Computer age, 2 weeks old. 

Over the years, email has become a major resource for me.  Especially now living in another country.  Over the years though, it has kept me connected with friends, and allow me to become friends, and even best friends with people I otherwise would have never met.

At age 19, I received my first college degree. 

Only to discover that between the time I enrolled in the program and the time I graduated, income had drastically dropped because the degree I chose became less desirable.

This of course lead me in January 2006 to begin the journey through nursing school and obtain a degree that is in high demand literally everywhere in the world.

At 21, I got my first cell phone!

Nothing negative on this one.  I have never looked back and love the mobile phone.  But good LORD they were large back then.  I needed a larger purse just to carry the damn thing!

At the age of 26, I left the country for the first time!  AKA First stamp in my passport!

Only negative is the fact that I got super motion sick on the plane to the island and on a boat while there.  Otherwise was a peace of heaven in the Caribbean!

Easy to see why, huh!! lol!  Over an hour in that little thing!

Sigh.. I need to lose some weight! Oh and to be in my 20's again!!! (I NEED A TISSUE!!!)

 I still have that passport though.  And it has many more stamps now.

At age 27, I took my first trip farther west in the U.S. than Illnios.  Viva Las Vegas!

Sadly, said "I do" instead of running like hell like I should have!  Oh well.  Pretty much lead me exactly where I am.  The night after the funeral wedding, I spent the night gambling and having one of the best nights of my life with my best guy friend.  One of the 10 wedding guests.  My surprise guest, my very own wedding crasher.  Later when the divorce happened, I told that friend in one of mannnnnnnnyyyyy emails we exchanged over the years, how I hated that all my memories of trips, especially Vegas included the asshole.  That very friend told me to focus on the good parts of the trip.  The times with my friends, my niece, and our CRAZY night of gambling.  The night that I took $200 out of my ATM not once but twice...that I didn't even remember until I saw the receipt the next day.  The "mute" dealer.  The other gamblers who were confused on why we weren't married.  And if I just got married, why was I out at 3am with some other guy.. "where is your husband".  That friend would later become a much more important person in my life.  Two years exactly to that night later as I sat for hours waiting for divorce court, the only person keeping me calm was that friend on FB Chat.  I was feet away from my soon to be exhusband who was becoming an ex because of abuse reasons, for hours that day.  It seemed like weeks though.  However, I had a friend, although 11K miles away, to keep me calm.  (thank god for modern technology).

Several months later, well, that same friend inspired this new blog, and started my new journey in life.  Here is a picture of me and my "friend" the night he crashed my pre-wedding dinner.

 Look familiar?



This was my face of surprise when I figured out who the hell the random guy standing talking to my family was.

It was none other than my love.  <3

I started this blog entry and had a different ending in mind.  I had many other "firsts" listed and outcomes from those first.  (don't worry, nothing perverted, sexual, or blackmail'ish... is that a word?)  But, it has turned and twisted.  Kinda like life I guess.  I guess basically life isn't about what we plan.  (nor is this blog apparently) It's what happens while we are busy making plans.