Completely Overwhelmed.

Perhaps I spoke (or in this case, blogged) too soon.  Monday and Tuesday afternoon I worked in a large hospital here in Perth, and both days were HELL (mostly because of the staff).  Yesterday I nearly cried numerous times (not really like me!!) and felt incompetent.  At one stage, I stepped into the break room for a breather and I told myself "You ARE A good nurse, you CAN do this, do NOT let PEOPLE ruin your day, only YOU can control how your shift goes".  I walked out feeling at peace, but that was quickly replaced with stress once I was chewed out (yet again) for things beyond my control.  I talked to my agency and they supported me and are looking further into my complaints.  I was suppose to work today, but the good thing about being agency is you can say "yeah" or "neah" as far as working.  So I told them this morning that I was taking the day off, so I took a mental health day.  I didn't sleep in, because when I'm super stressed I don't sleep (as I've blogged about) so I spent the morning with the twins and their mum, did some shopping, and a little cleaning.  I am suppose to work tomorrow (haven't been confirmed for a shift yet) and am so hoping that tomorrow is better. 

Some of the differences of nursing here verses America are small, some are big.  I've been doing this for quite some time now.  I'm not new to this field, but I've never felt so lost as I have this week.  Almost like a fish out of water... who has been out of the water far too long, gasping for air to live.  A few times in extreme stress I think "I can't do this".  And I am really doubting my ability to learn to practice in a new country.  Well, at least based on the last two days.  I so hope tomorrow will be a shift to give me renewed faith in myself and my skills.

For now, time to cook some dinner.  Until next time...