Life as an Expat, continued... mate.

A couple posts ago, I blogged about Life as an Expat (click here to read the post).  Since that post, I have had quite a bit of feedback from fellow "yanks" who totally relate, and some who found quite a good laugh with me (not AT me.. well, probably, it certainly wouldn't be the first....).

Since the post, I have found myself noticing more things that over the past 20'ish months of living here that I have just come accustom to that at one stage really set me back or took me off guard.  So, I thought I would do a continuation of the prior blog and add a few more things on.  Who knows, may start doing this on a somewhat regular basis.

Except, because I have time to kill tonight, this post is not only entertaining (ok, probably really not) but also has pictures....so that when my entertaining fails, epic-ally no doubt, at least there are pretty shiny objects to look at.... or am I the only with ADHD?

I am aware that the above is a toilet, and other than being more square than round, not MUCH difference right?  Ok.  Two reasons I'm starting this blog off in the shitter.  (Yes, pun intended)  First off, when I first became friends with Wayne (way before the whole relationship, dating, engage stuff...) I couldn't help but ask "is it true the toilets flush backwards?"  Toilets here, well, at least ALL the one's I've experienced (and as a female, we take pride in using every toilet we can possibly come in contact with... or at least that is what my fiance would swear is our mission in life) I have never had anything but a total SWOOSH.... straight down and out. 

Secondly, if you have visited Australia, you already know the second point.  Hey Americans...where's the flush handle???  My first "loo" break in Australia was in the Brisbane airport.  After going through customs, changing airports, rechecking in, etc... I was soo excited to get to the bathroom.  I am done doing my "business", turn around.... where the hell is the flusher????  See those buttons on top?  Yup.  THAT is how you flush a toilet.  One is for 1/2 flush, the other is for full.  Water conservation essentially.  I NOW know this.  However, as a very tired yank on my first trip, standing and staring wondering "what the HELL do I do" is a feeling I will probably never forget.  And I'm sure the line waiting for me to finish did not find it nearly as amusing as I did.  (Granted, I did NOT share my story with those doing the pee-pee dance in line).

A lot of the food here is quite the same.  I get asked a lot "do you have.............".  Ok people.  First off.   Australia is NOT a third world country.  While there are some differences, and some things we DON'T have (such as Velveeta cheese, chick fil a, etc) We have coke products (taste different at first, but still have it).  We have chicken, lamb, beef, ice cream (was REALLY asked that once)...People.  Stop. Again, not third world.  However, there are a few things that I have learned.  For example.. the above is one of my FAVORITE winter dishes.  A nice bowl of Chili.   However......order a bowl of chili here, and this is what you will find......

Here, Chili is a pepper...not a soup/stew. Ever.  Quite heartbreaking to learn.

Roundabouts.  Love them.  Four way stops are one thing I don't miss and they drove me absolutely nuts when we have visited back to America.  The whole "who's turn is it" dance.  And those ass holes who roll up and roll on.... even if you have been sitting there for a good five turns.  Roundabouts.  Ah.  Two American thumbs up on this one.

While I thought butcher shops died with the Brady Bunch..... Butcher Shops (or just "the butcher") are quite common down under.  And it's where you find the goods!! The GOOD quality meats, Pre-marinated meats, meals, (American style bacon!), and the list goes on and on.  So, Alice was on to something.. other than her love affair with the Butcher dude.  (On a side note, the Brady Bunch is still on TV here, like EVERY week day.  I may or may not watch an episode from time to time when home on a week day).

"Are you from Canada?"  If I had a dollar (US or Australian) for every time I have been asked this, I would be rich.  Like, filthy rich.  Donald Trump would be asking me for a loan for a new hair piece.  Apparently if you ask a Canadian if they are from America they get offended.  If you ask an American if they are from Canada, we don't care, so it's a safer bet.

HOWEVER... Nooooo...... I.  Am.   Not.  From.   Canada.

Ahhh......TV.  I have mentioned before in the last expat post how we are usually a few seasons behind... but allow me to show you the shows that we are pretty much right up to speed with.... 

Now, as a fan of Teen Mom, the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Say yes to the Dress..... pretty much ANY trashy girlie TV... and I may watch Hardcore Pawn or Operation Repo if there is NOTHING else on TV......  it does not surprise me that Australian's think ALL Americana's are retarded uneducated retarded toothless hicks.  Hell, all we have in America is Crocodile Dundee to be honest, and I thought that everyone was pretty much roughing it over here in the "bush" / "outback".  However, that is one movie.  This is a small selection of MULTIPLE shows that are sooooooo not helping the stereotype.

Dear American TV producers.... PLEASE stop selling the shitty reality shows like these to Australia.  For.  The.  Love. of.  GAWDDDDD.   

The old 'roo crossing sign.  The first time I saw one... totally went all touristy on the husband to be.  "STOP!  I wanna take a picture!!"  He of course stopped, and most importantly held back the "are you f'in serious" comments (although the rolling of the eyes and big SIGH kinda gave it away (lol).  Now, I see these every day on the freeway on the way to work.  Like, several.  I don't even blink an eye at them anymore.   I am still, however, fascinated when I actually do SEE one (although THAT is not a daily event as they aren't just roaming around) in the wild. 

As I blog this, it is Sunday night.  I SHOULD be prepping for a week of work.  However, the awesomeness of Australia celebrates "Easter Monday"  So, in addition to Good Friday, we get the following Monday off since Easter falls on a Sunday.  While it may seem crazy to you, and a touch to me at first, who am I to question a paid day off????   Happy Easter folks.

TGI(almost)F

I know, it's been a short week.  We only arrived back in Perth from our weekend in Sydney on Tuesday night.  So technically I've only worked two "days".

Did I mention I have sat on my couch both nights, remotely logged in, working away......  does. it. ever. end?   I guess it does if I just say "F" it and don't do it?  But..then it's just sitting there for me the next day in addition to everything else.  Sigh.  It's lose-lose I swear.  But, part of it I reckon.

I posted my last little blog on some of my FB pages, so welcome to the newbies.  Have gotten quite a bit of personal messages and feedback and it's been great.  It's great to know that others felt some sort of connection to my post.  I will warn you, most of my posts are a total waste of your time.  There is no refund or exchange policy for waste of your time.

Then again, Facebook doesn't offer those things, and hell, I have spent too many of my adult hours on that damn thing...

And what do I get in return??

Adverts.

When I was single, it was reminders I was single.  When in a relationship, reminders I wasn't engaged.  Now that I'm engaged, it's wedding shit.

FB.  Back.  The.  F.   OFF.

Soon I will do an update on our trip to Sydney and post some pictures.  It was amazing.

And it hit me... this is possibly our LAST get away together before the wedding... and possibly before kids.  Kind of a lot to take in when you REALLY think about it.

On that note, to bed I said, to bed.   Until next time....

The life of an expat.

I had often heard the term "expat" after moving to Australia.  I never really FULLY knew what it meant.  Of course, along with all the other things I have learned, I do now know the meaning.. well, at least according to Wiki (and lets face it, wiki does know EVERYTHING.....right??)

 

"An expatriate (commonly abbreviated expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country and culture other than that of the person's upbringing. "

 

So, yup.  I guess by definition I am indeed an "expat".  (which is far better than other five letter words I've been called in my 30 something years of life).

 

As I write this blog, please keep in mind I am purely discussing moving to an ENGLISH speaking country.  Well.... Australian English for me.  Trust me.  There IS a difference.  Just because we speak the same language does NOT mean things mean the same thing.  THIS is when life gets tricky!

 

When you think about moving to another country, regardless of how near or far, I am not sure that you really fully understand what you are about to get yourself into.  I think at first you are excited.  It's new, challenging.  Then it becomes a learning curve.  You find yourself thinking "huh?"  or asking "I'm sorry, what?" a million times.  Everyday.  Sometimes, every hour.  Then after some time, you find yourself using lingo that before you moved you NEVER would have uttered.  You have learned the words that sound harmless but indeed, are quite offensive. 

 

For me.... here's a few things I have learned since moving down under. (these are my observations..... )

• "Mate" is a word that really is used.  I however, cannot get in the habit of this.  It does not, I repeat, does NOT sound normal or acceptable coming from an American (especially a SOUTHERN) accent.  Sounds more like "might".  No.  Just no
• "Root" means to have sexual intercourse.  You can cheer and support your team of choice all you want, but "rooting" for them.  Well.  This is really not an acceptable act. 
• Nobody has a checking account or writes a check.  Cheque accounts are occasional things and sometimes you can get a cheque from your bank.  But that's the extent of it.  Not sure there is much difference, but the frequency and the spelling is enough to flip me out initially.
• "That's not bad" means that something is actually good.  I still have trouble with this one.  "how is your dinner?"  "yeah, it's not bad".  As a yank, this to me always was a nice way to say, well, it tastes like shit.
• I hear the song "Down Under" daily on the radio.  I really wasn't expecting this.  And please note, this is NOT by choice.
• Americans think we are a great group of people.  And most of us are!  But far too many rich and snobby and rude ass yanks (term for Americans) that have travelled have really set a bad name for those of us who are actually nice, caring, and educated, setting a stereotype that American's are rude ass idiots.  I can't count the number of times that people make comments on how nice I am to be an American.  Way to go rich snobs.  Way to go.
• Years ago, the stores "Big W" hired the "Walmart" advertising team and revamped the entire store.  After living here for almost 20 months, I still call it "walmart" because it looks Just... Like... Walmart.   It annoys Wayne to no end and I even catch myself saying to my staff "does Walmart carry  (insert item)?"  The look on their faces looks like I have worms crawling out of my nose.
• I drive on the wrong side of the car, and on the wrong side of the road.  I have pretty much gotten this one down pat now, but can't count the number of times I initially opened the passenger side of the car... and actually SAT down to drive.  What makes it even more fun is when people are actually watching.
• It's not a cell phone . It's a mobile phone.
• It's not a zip code.  It's a postal code.
• Finding a store open past 9pm is nearly impossible.  Up at 3am and decide to go grocery shopping and beat the crowd.  Ha.  Go back to bed.
•  A purse is a handbag.  A wallet is a purse. 
• A coozie is a stubby holder.
• A grill is a BBQ.  Going to some one's place for a cookout?  That is ALSO called a BBQ.
• You know when you go shopping, and you know all the brands of deodorant, shampoo, undies, clothes, etc, etc that you buy without even thinking (even food items)? Yeah.  Forget about that.  Find a really good online FB forum, and make sure your smart phone has Google.  You will need it.  A lot.
• Cornmeal for cornbread?  It's Polenta.
• Be prepared to have a LOT of websites tell you that you are restricted to view them because you are out of region.  Really?  Screw your restrictions.  (And thanks to said FB forums, you will find ways around this..... ohhhhh the ways around are amazing).
• You will find that your closest friends also come from the same country.  For me my closest friends, are Americans.  The instant connection with those from the same country is shocking.  Comforting.  And shockingly comfortable.
• Your electronic devices?  Yeah, just buy new ones.  They don't work.  And even if you find the converter, there is a good chance it will fault and destroy said appliance.  THIS is not just what I've heard from the grapevine.  THIS has happened.  More.  Than.  Once.
• Christmas = hot in the southern hemisphere.  Get over it.  It isn't going to change.
• Mail takes forever.  Mail Christmas gifts by Halloween. 
• In Australia, nobody drinks Fosters or Yellow Tail Wine(or whatever the crap is called).  Don't drink it to feel Australian.  Australians like their drinks, and like them to taste GOOD.  Said drink choices, are not authentic or tasty.  Avoid.  Avoid.  Avoid. 
• Everything is shortened.  Service station = servo.   Afternoon = arvo.   Breakfast = brekky.  This list could go on and on.
• Even without the above websites for watching tv, we still get most of the shows.  HOWEVER, it's like "Friends, Season 2" and advertised as "new episodes".  Ok, so that is a tad exaggerated, but not by much. 
• Home sick comes and goes.  The craziest things will make you miss home, and I think this is worse for women, and I'm certain that while it may improve, it will never go away. 

This list could seriously go on and on.  But ya know, people who take no chances in life, who don't follow their dream or heart, or whatever brought them to another country, have their own list.  Perhaps they are things they wish they could change about their current way of life.  Or maybe it's their list of regret for not following their hearts.  When I first moved, I was bound and determined not to change my ways.  For example, it was called a "cell phone" so people would just have to learn and accept that.  Not too long later, I learned that actually I have to learn the ways of my new home.  It is now termed as a mobile phone when I speak of it.  I think once you learn that YOU have to change to your new life, and IT doesn't change to YOU, it becomes easier to live a normal life. 

A few years ago, during a really rough pre-expat time of my life, someone told me to always remember the word "embrace".  I will pass that on to you, my fellow expats.

Embrace!

I am closing this with some lyrics to a song I heard today, that I have heard a million times before, but it had more meaning today.  For me, the meaning is no matter where you wander, always remember your roots.  Sure, we have to conform to a certain point to make it in a new place, but keeping our individuality I think is just as important.  Especially for me... this southern girl who likes her biscuits (not scones) and good ole' sweet tea.

"Southern State Of Mind"

Darrius Rucker

 

I was up in New York City just the other week
You should've seen the waitress face when I ordered sweet tea
She said we don't have that here and I apologized
I said please forgive me I'm in a southern state of mind

And those girls out in California they don't understand
They don't like it when I hold the door or when I say yes ma'am
They act like I done something wrong and they give me the evil eye
I say honey I'm sorry I'm in a southern state of mind

[Chorus]
I could be anywhere
In my heart I'm always there
Where they drink sweet tea and they raise you to be polite
No changin' who I am
That's the way I've always been
No matter what state I'm in
I'm in a southern state of mind

I'm always walkin' round tellin' everybody hi
Just a wavin' at the strangers in the cars passin' by
Some people may look at me and say that boy just ain't right
Hey y'all I ain't crazy I'm in a southern state of mind

[Repeat Chorus]

You can see it in the clothes I wear, you can hear it when I talk
Ball cap, boots and jeans and a little southern drawl
I could be up in Ohio or back home in Caroline
No matter what state I'm in
I'm in a southern state of mind
Don't matter what state I'm in
I'm in a southern state of mind
A southern state of mind"

It's March... and Autumn??????

I don't know if I'll ever fully grasp this whole southern hemisphere season thing.  lol.  It feels more like August than March.  And that makes sense with the way the seasons run.  It just always feels strange!

Life down under has continued to stay super busy!  Two weeks ago we participated in the color run.  A fun 5K run/walk.  It was a lot of fun and it hit for me on the first day that I had felt ok after battling an ear and sinus infection the week prior.  The very next day, Wayne and I were going to the grocery store and when I got out of the car, I suddenly was having pain walking.  Ended up at the hospital in the after hours clinic (because the emergency department was CRAZY!) and the diagnosis was a probable stress fracture.  Sometimes it becomes quite frustrating.. feeling like it's always something.  It's like my body is super defective.  It seems like there is always something.  And it's not something really new.  It seems like it's always been this way.  Like I'm just a natural born defect.  I'm totally clumsy and a klutz.  But even being a klutz doesn't always explain these things (like the ear infection).  For example, today I woke up with my right hip and right upper back really playing up on me.  What gives.. and when does it stop?  I'm sure I've had enough aches, pains, and illness to last five people their entire life!!  I'm just annoyed by my body. 

Work has been busy, but good.  I feel like I'm really growing into the role, but I'm realistic and acknowledge that I have so much to learn.  There are still some days, or moments in some days where I think I've made a huge mistake (see prior blogs about this one!) but those are less and less as I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm so use to working in a job where I knew what was going on and what needed to be done.  Now, however, it's a WHOLE new ball game.  I don't know what I will encounter on a day to day (or even hour to hour) basis.  As soon as things go well and I think "hey!  I understand this!"  The work Gods LAUGH and say "haha.. watch this!".  But I'm realising more and more that the way you approach it makes all the difference.  I can easily admit it's a much more challenging position than I ever realised.

Wedding plans are coming along.  Continuing to slowly work on the things to do list.  My best friend and Maid of honor booked her flights for the wedding this week so I'm really excited on that!  A little less than 7 months until the big day!!

Last weekend we bought a thermomix!!  If you don't know what this is, google it.  It's awesome.  Well, the cost ($2,000) isn't awesome.. but the rest is amazing.  I swear I don't even want to eat out anymore because the food is just THAT easy and good!

I guess that's all I have for now...  until next time!!