Hindsight 20/20

We all look back on things and think "if I only had known (blank)".  Well, today out boredom, I got on my facebook app "get old status".  It goes all the way back to July 2009 of every status update you've posted.  I read back over them.. and it's amazing in a little over 2 years how much my life has changed.  Not just from then to now, but how much things changed over the course of the 2 years (and several months).  Times when I was sad.  Good times with great friends.  Trying times.  Quotes (what.. ME?? Post a quote?? noooo... lol).  But one thing I found entertaining (and blog worthy) was the statuses in the "beginning" of this Australian journey.  After the tearful part in August 2011.  Here are some things I had to say (and i'll add commentary when needed).....

Sunday 1st of August 2010:
"Yeah, I'm ready to feel now No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down It must be time to move on now Without the fear of how it might end I guess I'm ready, ready to love again." love some Lady A...and loving life. Feeling so good tonight."

Ok, looking back on the date and time of this I realize I was being pretty damn forward.  This was posted right after I got word that Wayne was coming back to Lexington to spend more time with me... several days earlier than planned.  And it was a "hey, I'm on my way to your house, be there in a few hours"... lol.  Even though he knew I had to work and I'm sure there were many other places (and speedways) and FUN things he could have done.  Anyways, this was what I posted right after that.  

  

Sunday 8th of August 2010

"the house is already too quiet"

This was posted right after Wayne left to head to the airport.  When I fought myself not to look like a crazy woman and chase after him to the airport.  Telling myself he would think I was crazy, don't be "THAT" girl.  (Turns out, he was looking for my car the entire way, and kept thinking he'd see me at the airport.)  I should've followed my gut.  (again, hindsight...)

Monday 9th of August 2010 

back to the real world of night shift nursing. Sigh. A lot of things and people on my mind as I snuggle into bed in an extremely quiet apartment. Time flies when we are having fun. Back to reality...

Pretty self explanatory?

Thursday 12th of August 2010
"Feels love for the first time tonight. And not sure I know how to fix it. As the girl who has it together I don't know how to pull this one together."

I'm thinking this was around the time we were putting it all out there, but not a clue what to do with it once it was out there.

Saturday 14th of August 2010 
"I having a fin blast but missing someone... "

This was at a bachelorette party... riding around in a hummer limo.  I was having a blast, but my mind was miles away... 11K miles to be exact.

Monday 16th of August 2010 
"And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Ah, yes.  A quote.  From my favorite movie, When Harry Met Sally.  I remember watching this movie during this time and balling during this scene, due to all the emotions going on.  That movie went from a movie I liked, to one of my favorite movies during this time.  And it still is one of my favorites.

Tuesday 17th of August 2010
"has never done anything completely spontaneous....this could change that.... "

Following a discussion of "what now" which lead to the discussion of the nursing shortage in Australia... and this status lead to a LOT of text messages and emails from friends.. lol.  The same explanation applies to the next status!

Wednesday 18th of August 2010
ah hah!!!! Figured out the master plan. Now to make it happen....

Wednesday 18th of August 2010 
“After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

Thursday 19th of August 2010 
"just had an awesome chat with Jessica Carman Wade. Feeling great about things."

Jessica is one of my very very dear friends.  We met when we were in high school in Marching Band (...."this one time... at band camp....") and over the years have developed we have a lot in common, ESPECIALLY in our very twisted sense of humor.  Turns out, her Australian husband, was also from Perth.  Where Wayne is from (and where I now live.... ohh...forgot to add.. *spoiler alert*..lmao)  After being totally stressed out about immigration, travel, etc, etc, etc, Jess and I talked on the phone for ages.  And I still can remember the peace of mind I had after talking to her.  After all, she knew what she was talking about.  Not only is she a smart cookie, but she's in the international marriage and so the customs and immigration stuff is not a new thing to her.  And she's a straight shooter.  No bull shit.  Like it or not, she's just straight forward.  One of her many awesome qualities. 

Friday 20th of August 2010 
"five days before I'm thirty.........and I've never been sure of anything in my life. Until now. Never been more sure."

Sunday 22nd of August 2010
"had a nice little vacation approval signed and on her mailbox at work. Time to book a flight and get the passport out. November won't get here fast enough..."

Obviously, the vacation was for my first trip to Perth.

And I'll go off track a bit here.  Because, well, hell.  I do that.  A LOT.  Speaking of hindsight.  In December 2009, I was cleaning out some stuff in the office in the house that I lived in with my ex.  I had a box of papers from nursing school and such that just needed to be cleaned out.  I came across my passport.  It had my maiden name in it, and since I was married when I found it, and my ID had the new name, this passport was no longer valid.  I thought to myself "well, I need to get a new one.. but why? Not like I'm ever gonna need one?" and I placed it in the trash pile.  Later I picked up the trash pile and carried it to the trash, however on the way to the trash (down the stairs) the passport fell out.  I kept going and came back.... hell, I'm NOT a graceful person, and in an attempt to pick up one thing, I just knew I'd drop like 10 more things that were trash.  So, I carried on, and went back.  I opened up the passport, and saw the stamp from a trip to the Caribbean in 2007.  I decided to keep the passport, for souvenir purposes only.

Fast forward to May 14, 2010.  My last name changed back to my maiden name after the divorce.  At that day, my passport became active again.  And to think, it almost went to the dumpster.

Tuesday 24th of August 2010 
"just got her first 30th bday package and card..... Grinning from ear to ear..... :) "

Tuesday 24th of August 2010
"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense Never let your prayin knees get lazy And love like crazy"

Lyrics from a song that became one of my favorite songs, and still is.  Made me think of us, and how crazy we were.... about each other, annnnd...well, just in general! lol

Saturday 11th of September 2010 
"ticket to australia booked! Tailgating and UK game. This is am AWESOME day! "

Monday 27th of September 2010 
"sometimes, 11K miles seems so close...others very far away. This is one of the far away days...and for no reason.... maybe the cold rain?? sigh.... 4 weeks, 2 days... "

Thursday 30th of September 2010
“"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh. "I wish I were there to be doing it, too."

Monday 25th of October 2010

"a sweet text from my Aussie before crashing is the perfect recipe for a smile. =D. I love my life. As complicated as it may seem to everyone else. But to me. It's quite simple....."

Monday 25th of October 2010 
"I can’t take another day without you ‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you And to be back in your arms where I belong"



Tuesday 16th of November 2010
"knew this was gonna be hard... but had *no* idea it would be THIS hard... "

Obviously, this was when I was about to return to the US after my first trip here.

So, I'll stop there.  There were many others that I could use, because apparently I update my facebook status a lot, especially when I'm excited about things!! LOL!  This was a long entry, and I'm sure nobody is reading this anymore, lol.  But that's fine, I keep this more for my own sake, and I enjoyed reading the old statuses and remembering the details behind them.  God, sometimes it feels like just a few weeks ago.  Sometimes I can't believe we've only been together 16 months.

Until next time.