Tuesday, May 31, 2011

100th post...

So I've reached my 100th post on *this* blog.  No clue how many the other ones have had, but happy 100th post to Aprildownunder.  Really wish I had a more up beat and happy post on this blog birth...err... postday.. but I don't.....

Gonna post lyrics, but also feel the need to vent.  I'm so discouraged lately.  Things aren't where I thought they should or would be with me and Wayne, and I'm ok with that....sort of.... ok, not really.  But this whole "limbo" thing, I'm just not really handling.  I'm a black and white person.  So not knowing what the future holds, really doesn't sit well with me.  And maybe it's not a fact of not knowing the future, but not knowing what today holds.  I'm a planner.  Always have been.  Always will be.  And every day lately it's an "i don't know"....  I am respecting his request for time, but I almost feel it's a delay of the inevitable, if that makes any sense.  I'm tired of crying because I don't know.  Things aren't over, but things aren't moving forward at the same time... hence, the limbo....  Every day I spend too much time finding myself in tears.  I just wish I knew.  My friends and family I'm sure are tired of hearing me cry and vent... thank god for true friends that have been here for me.

I don't claim to be perfect.  I just claim to be me.  Is that not enough?

So, I think I'll post with a couple of song/lyrics today... just because..well, it's my blog and I can post what I want.  :)



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