A Monday that wasn't horrible??

Shut the front door!  I keep waiting for one of the following to happen following a smooth (but busy) Monday, and feeling pretty well most the day (tired now, but otherwise good!)

1.  Ashton Kutcher to jump out and inform me I've been punked.  Mondays seriously never go THIS smooth.  I'm guessing everyone has been in on it......  

2.  My alarm clock to go off.  This is a dream.  This MUST be a dream, and I will soon wake up.

3.  Notification that hell has frozen over.

I'm pretty sure that the last will come..... any...minute....now..........

It wasn't that today was overly smooth.  Monday after being out of my office Thursday and Friday last week while I worked as a nurse, add payroll for the fortnight, weekly reporting, pain in the you-know-what people arguing (seriously, I'm pregnant.. you aren't gonna win, and being a jerk isn't gonna get you anywhere... and it REALLY won't motivate me to "help you out" after you have thrown a bitch fit..just for future reference...), major chaos... but it just seemed to go so smoothly.  I felt really organised.. oh! oh! oh!  And I didn't puke!  It's amazing how much awesome THAT adds to your day!  (although the day isn't over with yet, but we'll be optimistic and call it a win?!?!)

Anyways, I'm sure it'll make up for it and the rest of the week will suck my will to live.  But a productive and happy Monday?  I'll totally take it.

So, in the past I posted about my "gut feeling" about the baby being a girl.  Well, actually originally I thought it was a boy.  Must be a boy.  But at around 8 weeks, I had this strange feeling that it MUST be a girl.  Even would refer to bubs as "She" and corrected my husband and best friend when they called baby a boy.  "SHE is good" for example, would be my answer when asked "how's he doing?" lol.  Well, not sure why, but the gut feeling has gone BACK to boy.  Seriously?  We aren't finding out the sex because Wayne has always said he wanted a surprise.  And since he's puking all the time and experiencing so many body changes, I figured the least I could do was give him his wish........  totally kidding.  But yeah, Wayne has always wanted a surprise.  He told me I could find out the sex as long as I could keep it a secret (which I may have mentioned on here already) but who are we kidding?  That's not likely to happen.  Like, ever.  Anyways, I'm so curious to see WHICH of my gut feelings has been right.  Hell, we know ONE of them is right, right?????

I will be 16 weeks on Wednesday.  The pregnancy seems to be going by both fast AND slow at the same time. I had one day where I was CERTAIN I felt the baby move twice.  Not like anything I've ever felt.. almost like a worm rolling over or something?  Hard to describe.  Same spot and occurred about 30 seconds apart.  Anyways, I have yet to feel anything again, but I can't wait until movement is part of my daily routine (and I'm sure I'll regret that when I'm not sleeping because baby is playing "let's turn mum's bladder into a trampoline" all night....lol.)  But right now, I'm not really showing, but all my pants are getting snug.  I'm not sick all the time, but I am sick enough to be over it.  I am not hormonal all the time, but there are a lot of times I don't even want to be in the room with myself.  I am not in puberty, but my face sure is freaking the shit out and breaking out in acne LIKE a teenager.  My boobs are bigger (no con to this one other than busting out of bras isn't the sexiest look! lol)  I know I'm pregnant, but there are times it still doesn't feel real.  And hey, maybe until I hear him/her cry in the delivery room, it won't "feel" real?  But I just feel like some sort of reminders, like feeling baby moving, would make all this feel real, and not like a three month long hangover and post-Christmas "bloat".    Don't get me wrong, I'm so over the moon that we are pregnant. After all the comments from doctors on how difficult it was going to be to conceive, for this to have happened so fast and natural, there just aren't words to explain how grateful I am for this miracle!  But hey, you all know my patience level.... which is like negative fourty bazillion!

Anyways, off to finish the Monday off.  Is 7pm too early for bed?  I'm sleepy!   

Hope Monday treats everyone well out there!  Until next time....

Randomness...

Because, well, I'm random.

Here's 10 things I learned this week:

1.  I CAN go to IKEA without buying a THING!  (ONLY because I didn't have the credit card or someone to do the heavy lifting for me).

2.  I accept way too many friend requests on Facebook.  Last night I was scrolling through and realised some of the people in my "friend list" were people I didn't even really know or had never met in person (friend of a friend or friend of a family member).  Why?  Not too long ago I did a clean out, and some of those people over the following weeks starting sending me ANOTHER friend request.  Some were people that I didn't even have a close relationship when I lived in the states, so why continue the fb friendship people?  Now granted, I don't need regular interaction with anyone on facebook to keep on my friends list.  So, I don't count the likes/comments and say "yup, let's stay FB friends".  But seriously.  I've cleaned out around 100 people in the last 24 hrs.  Wow, the news feed just got more interesting, because it's crap and people I care about.  Wow! lol

3.  I really like Mentos fruit flavoured mints.  Ya know, the chewy ones.  Well, I have discovered my favorite flavor (pink colour.. strawberry..mmmm) have their OWN entire packaging.  This makes me happy.  However, it's not available everywhere.  So in the last couple of weeks, I have bought two different packs of the "Variety".  One pack had NO pink, and the other had ONE pink.  This is bullshit.

4.  It's OK to have your own feelings/beliefs.  I actually respect people who have this, even if I don't agree with it.  HOWEVER, if someone doesn't agree with it, forcing the belief onto them..........just makes you an ass.  I am one who refuses to discuss religion or politics or any other highly debatable "topics".  Why?  Because it's seriously NEVER a discussion.  It turns into republicans verses democrats and into an argument.  I'm not gonna argue my point, but I will respect yours, even if I don't agree with it.  It's like looking at a cloud, and I say "that cloud looks like an elephant".  And you say "nah, I think it looks like a camel".  My response will typically be something along the lines of "cool.  Wanna grab a coffee?"  I'm never gonna see it as a camel, you are never gonna see it as an elephant.  It doesn't make either of us right or wrong.  Different opinions is amazing, because if we all thought the same, we would never move forward as a society.  This discovery this week is too complex for a blog, but annoying enough for me to at least explain it a little (and has nothing to do with religion OR politics).  

5.  I'm over puking.  Not sure this really needs an explanatory paragraph, does it?  

6.  I don't think I will ever outgrow my ability to watch the same movies over.  And over.  And over.  ANNNNNND over.

7.  I have a LOT of ideas for the house since becoming pregnant.  I am really wanting to maximize our space so when baby comes we aren't stretched too thinly.  I wish I could make it all happen over night.  

8.  I wish there was a cleaning fairy, and that she would visit my house.  I haven't done a BIG clean in ages, and I feel really guilty about it.  It's not for lack of wanting to, but just more the puking usually wins and then wipes me O-U-T to where all I have the energy to do is lay in bed and watch tv.  Total loser, I know.

9.  I am easily annoyed by teenagers in the shopping centres these days.. then I realise this baby growing in my tummy will one day BE a teenager.  Why don't they put this shit in the brochures?  Along with the fact that not every pregnancy is the "Best" time of a woman's life.  Liars.  

10.  You can only be as good of a friend as you are allowed.  There is only so many times that I can ask someone if everything is ok or make an effort before it feels like all the efforts are slapping me in the face and one sided efforts.

Ok, so, busy week I reckon!

Fingers crossed this week will be a better week as far as feeling well and just in general.  Also, fingers crossed the opportunity I am hoping for comes through.. maybe even hear something this week... can only hope!

Until next time...

Yup. Still alive. Yup. Still a slacker!

So I think I should just stop attempting blog challenges.  Not only did I fail at this one, I failed at my acknowledged attempt to "Jamaican bob sled" it and pick myself up and finish the race, with NO chance of winning.

Yeah, even failed at that.

It just seems like since becoming pregnant and staying sick as shit, my brain has turned to total mush and I am so easily distracted... not to mention easily exhausted!  I get ideas for blogs.  They usually occur while I'm on my long commute to work or back.  At work, I don't blog.  I don't even get onto anything that would possibly lead our I.T. peeps to find my blog.  (not that I mention work anymore, but ya know, people don't need to know my shit.).  When I get home, well.... the bed usually persuades me to join it around 8 or 9pm.. or the toilet welcomes me for some "snuggle" time.....

Yes folks, I'm still experiencing pregnancy "morning" (more like all day) sickness.  It is not as bad as it was, but it still is frequent enough for me to consider finding a tall building and a short rope.  Ok, that's exaggeration.  I've been sick since the day I found out I was pregnant (hence why I took the test) on Monday December 16.  Do the math folks.  It's.... basically forever.  Or 13'ish weeks.  Same thing!  I keep hoping either tomorrow or next week it will be better.  And while I do have days that ARE better, I still have days that are no different.  It's very discouraging.

And hormones.  Please don't get me started on those.  A lot of days I feel like I'm trapped in my own body.  I am hungry, but when I eat I puke.  I feel agitated easily (13 weeks of puking will do that alone, plus preggo hormones!)  and there are times all I want is to just be alone.  I feel so anti social, and so guilty for being crabby.  Isn't this suppose to be the happiest time of my life?  Where I feel amazing, and glow?  Where's my damn glow?  I was promised a glow!

And then I get guilty for feeling bad about any of the above things, because I know women who would trade places with me in a heartbeat.  But don't get me wrong, I'm not upset about the little miracle growing RAPIDLY inside of me.  I'm over the moon.  I can't wait until he/she gets here (and to find out if he or she is a he or she..... which we won't know until baby is born).   I just want a couple days where I feel like a human.  Where I don't have to figure out where the toilet is so when the nausea hits I can make a run.  I don't have to avoid smells for fear of getting sick.  Where I have the energy to actually CLEAN the house.  Where I'm not crabby.  Where I don't want to just lock myself in my bedroom and cry for HOURS because I feel just lousy.  I know they say your life is never the same once you have a baby, but I really just want my body to return to a state of somewhat normalcy..even just a few days.  (and again, I already feel guilty for typing these words out.)

I had brunch with a friend today, and she told me about a possibly awesome opportunity for me, so this afternoon (in between worshiping the toilet king....) I have done some research, updated my CV and cover letter, and off it went to two companies for a possibly amazing opportunity... Watch this space.... (or if you know me, I am happy to fill you in, just not posting on a random public blog! lol)

It's Saturday night at 8:15.  I'm debating going to bed soon in hopes that dinner will stay down and I have a fighting chance to NOT puke again today.  

In regards to the blog challenge, I am gonna just admit total defeat and say that you readers probably knew I was gonna not finish it anyways.  Maybe I need to stick to like a week long challenge..or a once a month?  Ahhh...who am I kidding?? lolol

Until next time!

 

Challenge: Fail...

Now there's a surprise! lol.  In my defense, I have been dealing with 24/7 "morning" sickness (I'd love to find the s.o.b. who titled it that and choke them... I would have loved morning sickness!), and had a Bruce Springsteen concert to attend.  So, some decent reasons to slack on the blogging.

And even though I have missed enough entries now to not be eligible for any prizes, I am going to spend some time this evening making some more blog entries and catch up.  I'll be like the Jamaican bob sled team.  I am gonna crash, and won't win, but I'll pick up my bob sled and run over the finish line.

Or something like that.  

Anyways, a quick update away from the challenge while I'm at it?  Wayne is currently in route to Africa for a work trip.  Hopefully this one is a one-off trip and not an ongoing trip.  I don't mind the work trips, but the international ones are difficult, especially when you are sick.  So many hours where you cannot get in touch with them.  I guess if the first trimester had been easier, it wouldn't have been as big of a concern.  His last trip to Mongolia, I couldn't even drive myself up the street to the hospital or a 10 minute drive to my doctors office.  Things like that first off, make you really miss your partner.  But secondly it makes you really appreciate how awesome your in-laws are.

Anyways, this week I'll be 12 weeks and nearly out of the first trimester.  Since Friday, I haven't vomited and that makes me nearly do dances of joy!!  The dizziness from the low blood pressure still comes and goes, but it doesn't seem AS bad when I'm actually able to eat AND keep it down.  Last night, I had "fourth" meal, followed by a midnight snack.  Considering the inability to eat much over the last few weeks, it was a well welcomed change!  Today I was able to go shopping with my friend, Erin, and stopped in at our cousins house for a cuppa and visit.  Was really nice to be out of the house and not be thinking the whole time "I wanna go home to bed".  So, I'm quite happy to be feeling better, and am certainly hoping this trend continues!  I've only been working on average of two days a week for the last few weeks.  I have been getting really sick of being home and feeling alone all day, not being able to eat, which means little energy and just feeling like total shit.

Ok, enough whinging.... I feel great today, and am actually looking FORWARD to working tomorrow!! I will now take wagers on how long it takes for someone to change that tomorrow?  haha.

Ok, off to finish some MKR and then catch up on some blogs.  Three blogs people.. count them... THREE blogs to come tonight.

Well, I'll try.  lol.

Expat Challenge; Day 6

Today's expat challenge is:

"Prompt: I would/would not move to another country after this."

I think it would be safe to say that this is a conversation every expat has had, either with their family/partner/employer, or at least with themselves.   

Those who have never had to make the move to another country don't fully grasp what all goes in to this sort of move.  It's a lot of giving up.  Giving up all of your comforts.  Giving up all your near friends and family.  Even giving up some... or, in my case, a LOT of personal possessions.  For those moving over for work, the 15-25K of shipping expenses is covered.  For those moving for relationship purposes, that's a huge expense that if can be spared, is.  After my divorce, I had rebuilt my entire life, and that included furniture, decorations, wall hangings, etc.  I don't think you realise how much possessions become a part of who you are until you are making piles of what you can't live without, what you may be ok without, and what you are fine to get rid of.  After 2 and a half years, I sorta have most of the important things in my possession here in Perth.  And sure, it's just possessions, but it's part of the transition to another country.

I grew up in a small town and spent my adult life 30 minutes north in Lexington (which is where I consider "home").  I was always a short drive from any of my friends and family.  I was always the type of friend that if you needed me, I'm there.  One day after working a night shift, my best friend, Autumn and her husband were moving.  I said I couldn't help due to the shift the night before.  Until I read on facebook as I was laying in bed that nobody who had agreed to help move had showed up.  Without thinking of how exhausted I was, I was out the door and showed up until more people showed up, which took about 2 hours of moving.  It's just who I am really.   Since moving here, I've had many friends encounter troubles and pain.  It's so hard for me to be able to only be there for them by the phone and not be able to just pop in my car and drive over.  This caused a lot of problems for me when I first moved over, it made my home sickness a bazillion times worse.

Adjusting to a new life in a new country is not hard, but it's certainly not easy.  For Australia, it's all English, but there are a lot of learning curves, including words to use and not use.  For more info on this, feel free to read this entry from last year. I've learned to drive on the wrong side of the road.  I've learned how to maneuver around a shopping mall (which is like playing frogger here in Perth....... but that's another topic!).  

I've also had the amazing experience of being welcomed by Wayne's family directly into the family from day one.  I've been at the same job and have a lot of professional relationships there.  And I have made some really amazing friends here (most of who are fellow yanks, lol).  

So, would I move again?

I would hate to say "no".  Because, if  had been closed minded about making that big of a move in the first place, I wouldn't be here now.  I am in a wonderful marriage and expecting our first little miracle.  Perth has amazing weather and is just gorgeous.  Australia is amazing for the work/family balance, and I will be able to stay at home with our kids until they are in school.  Health care isn't a concern here, like it is in America.

Having said that, I'm not sure that the drastic changes that come with uprooting your life is something I am game to do again, and especially now that we have a baby on the way.  I love the fact that I will be able to stay home and raise our kids.  I love the fact that Wayne is from a huge family and we have so much support, and all reasonably close to our house.  I've adjusted.  I feel like I belong; which is not a feeling I had at first..... at.....all.   Everything seems right and everything seems normal.

I have no regrets about moving across the world to be with the love of my life.  But I'm home now.  And home is where I want to be.

Expat Challenge; Day 5

Prompt: I was at the airport, and....

I got put on the flight alert list.

You got it.  Sweet old me is on a list as a flight alert.

Didn't expect this did you?  And if you are a friend of mine, you already know this story well.  But of all my journeys and trips, this one even to this day, cracks me up.

So the story.   It was May 2010.  My divorce had been finally finalised after a few months (thank GOD!).  I had been talking for hours on end to a friend from high school that lived in Texas.  We had reconnected in March after I had moved into my own apartment.  He inboxed everyone on his fb page (we had become fb friends a couple years prior from memory) that a friend had hit a rough patch and was asking for anyone to send a message of hope, prayer, etc for her to lift her spirits.  Of course I did and with the message just said hi to him and hoped all was well in Texas.  He replied and asked for my phone number, which I gave and within 10 minutes he called.  We talked for hours, about where life had taken us since our High School Graduation in 1998 when we had last seen each other and spoken.  He confided a lot of personal things and we laughed about a lot of experiences we had together in High School.  We were both in the Marching Band.  I was color guard and he was percussion.  So we had heaps of mutual friends as well.

This conversation started a crazy journey for me.  It was a crazy time of my life, and it really was a nice distraction to everything going on with my divorce and my crazy ex husband.  A few weeks later, he asked me to come for a visit in Texas.  

This was my first trip of my life flying alone.  Going to Texas was not when I got myself in trouble.  It was coming back....

The trip went relatively well.  I could easily see within a short period after getting back home to Kentucky it was not a relationship that should happen or would last.  At the time though, I was gutted.  The night before I left he told me that he didn't want a relationship.  At the airport, he dropped me off at the "drop and run" lane, which I thought was hurtful.  I got in to the airport and once checked in, I went and found my gate and confirmed on the TV screen that it was my flight.  I look at my watch and see I have about 60 minutes to kill.  I look directly behind me.... a bar.  Lovely.  I have time to get a quick drink, use the bathroom, and board the plane.  What could go wrong?

Ohhh........  a lot.   First off, emotions hit me as I sat at the bar and I started crying....before I even was served a damn drink.  I had come to terms the night before that the relationship wasn't gonna happen, but the drop and run had really hurt my feelings.  I was also dealing with a lot of emotions that I discovered from the trip.  You see, before the trip I was at a place in my life where I was questioning a lot.  Do I want to attempt a relationship and risk getting hurt... yet again?   Do I want kids someday, or am I just risking myself for more pain if I can't conceive, or if I pick another "winner" and end up a single mom with baby daddy drama?   He had a little girl who I had spent a lot of time with on the trip, and basically left Texas with this confirmation that yes, I wanted a relationship and that yes, I wanted my own children some day.  

As I'm drinking, some older gentleman bought a drink and sent over to my way.  Who knew crying would score ya a drink at a bar?  I thought that was frowned upon?  But hey, with the price of airport Makers and Coke, I didn't wanna be rude and turn it down.    And after that, I think I have time for ONE more.    

I look at my watch and see that I have about 15 minutes until I "board".  I make my way to the bathroom.  As I am doing my "business", I hear "Last call for Passenger April (insert married name)".  LAST CALL????  You've got to be kidding me.  I grab my things and RUN to the gate I had checked before my three Maker's and Coke's.  There is a cue with people boarding.  "Shew", I think "made it....."  I get up to the front and they look at my ticket,  "Oh, there was a last minute gate change.. you are down on gate 15".   I am currently at gate 10.  So I take off running towards my gate.  Nobody is there.  I can see the gate pulling back away from MY plane.  MY plane is still there.  

So, I do what any slightly intoxicated, emotional person would do.  I start banging on the door.  If they can hear me, they'll know to come and open the door, right?  Wrong.  Banging on a door only gets the attention of airport security.  Next thing I know, a 6'3'' ish big man in uniform has come over and grabbed my arm.  "Mam, what's going on over here?"  "I need to get on THAT plane (as I point in case he isn't sure which plane I am wanting to board....) and they have locked the door".  He looks me up and down and says "Mam, since 9-11 you can't beat on airplane doors.  I need you to come with me".   The first thing that enters my mind is "so, before 9-11 it was perfectly ok to beat on airport doors?"  and even though I am slightly intoxicated, I do have enough sense to keep quiet.

He walks me to a room and asks me a few questions and asks for my passport.  Questions about who I am, why I was in Texas, what I do for a living.  In regards to the passport, I, however, did not have an active passport.  Once I married, I never got my passport name changed.  Since this flight was booked before I had changed my name back to my maiden name, I also hadn't changed my drivers license so I would have a form of I.D. for the Texas trip.  I did not mention this though, and just said "I don't have a passport".  "Your ID will suffice".  He fills out some paperwork and I start crying again, realizing I had to work the next day.... I couldn't call in.  I HAD to be home.  He explains to me something about a flight risk and a list and all I heard was "blah blah blah".  I blurted out, "but can I fly home today?"  He said to me "I don't work for the airline, I work for the department of (insert word here that intoxicated April can't recall)".   From here he lead me out of the room to the airline and explained the situation.  I was put on another plane that day.  

When I got home, my suitcase was a mess.  My nice neatly packed suitcase looked like a bomb had gone off, but I still didn't think about it.  It wasn't until I shared my experience with some friends that I realised exactly what had happened.  As soon as my married name was changed to my maiden name, I used my passport for every travel experience and the flight risk hasn't followed me....... yet........

  

Expat Challenge; Day Four

Today's expat challenge is to look at the 5th post you ever wrote on this blog. In hindsight, what do you think about your frame of mind and your style of writing.

My fifth entry wasn't a lengthy one, shocking as it may be. Click here to read the entry.  I had gotten off work, and had apparently had a crappy night for no reason apparently...but working with the public this happens... a lot...... especially in health care AND on night shift. Ya know the "you aren't yourself when you're hungry" Snickers commercial? Similar applies to night shift. You live in a state of exhaustion, even when you're certain you've had enough sleep.   But, I had good news that trumped the mood! 

I recall that raise very well. I remember feeling so shocked at the amount. My hospital had been on major cuts, and I had heard a few people mention their raises to others. I personally have never liked to discuss my salary with others, esp coworkers. That's a dangerous area. But, I had over heard a few people had gotten around 0.5-1.5%. So I was sure that I wasn't getting much. I walked in for my review with very little expectations, and walked out with a 4.5% raise. Of course, I played it cool and when asked by coworkers, "what did you get?" I made a joke that I was enrolled in the jelly of the month club (Christmas Vacation reference) and really was excited.....and casually changed the subject, while my coworkers giggled and never even realised what just happened. lol

So to answer my frame of mind. Recovering financially after my divorce was a difficult recovery. And not just the divorce, the one sided "help me pay my shit off" marriage (that I was so blind and stupid throughout). I had gotten a really nice raise (especially in comparison to others as well as my expectations). But the most important thing at that moment for me was the fact I would be off at Christmas and New Years when Wayne was coming to America for the holidays. You have a better chance of hitting the lottery than being off both of those holidays (both the day of AND the eve's) working in a large hospital. And for me, at that moment, I HAD hit the lottery.

My style of writing? Well, this entry was September 16, 2010. Or 16 September 2010 if you prefer. So 3 years and almost five months ago. My writing hasn't really changed much. I still use a LOT of periods........ as in, too many...... see what I mean? I still capitalise words when they are emphasised. (see last line of above paragraph). Sometimes I may bold them or put them in italics, but depends on my mood.  Usually I feel capitalised should suffice.  But then, and now, I blog what's on my mind, and in my heart. Even if it's random, and may be pointless to others. For me, each entry has some sort of significance. Either documenting a time, a place, an event, a feeling. Even if the feeling is boredom and blogging because I got damn tired of scrolling on FB and all the blogs I follow haven't had an updated entry. My style is honesty, rambling, and a bit of humor, even though a lot of times it's not intentional, sarcasm strikes and readers have a laugh. I may not always be able to tell people how I feel in person, and I wear a mask at work... the one over my face where you can tell I am asking "are you REALLY serious?". But here in my blog, honesty is served up fresh with every blog. Well, most blogs. With a side of sarcasm, and for dessert? A big scoop of awesome. HAHA.

Ok, so there's 4 of 4 in the books. I'm impressed.