Ah, another bitter sweet goodbye. I'm so excited to get back to Kentucky to my friends and family, but will somewhat miss this place. The town is...well... boring. However, it's close to DC (which I LOVE!!!) and I have some good memories here, and I have met some AMAZING people and have been revived (so to speak) in nursing. I was sooo burnt out on alcohol and drug addicts. It's been nice to ACTUALLY have to use my brain, and not just passify a few drunks until shift change. And experience a LOT of nursing firsts, such as my first patient death (expected, but not always easy) and learned more about the nurse I am and the nurse I want to be.
Being alone in a town for all but the three weeks Wayne was here was sometimes lonely, but all in all taught me soooo much about myself. About 2 yrs ago, I never saw myself leaving Kentucky. Then, here I was, in DC on the streets at night, taking pictures of myself playing chess with some homeless guy. Who does that?? lol. It has been one of those self learning experiences. Wow, I *AM* capable of so much more than I EVER gave myself credit for. I mean hell. I was give one day orientation at the hospital before being on my own. Think of all the passwords, codes, and policies I had to absorb in 12 hrs. Every door, medicine cart, etc, etc... has their own code. And, phone numbers. And doctors.. who is Dr. so-and-so? It's 3 am and my patient is crashing, um.. who do I call? Yeah, these were all things as a staff nurse I had DOWN. As a new AGENCY nurse knowing nobody or anything.. yeah, not so much. This was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone, and if you know me, you know I LOVE my comfort zone. After working with some doctors for 5 years or so, I could call up and say "Mrs. Whatshername needs ______ because _____" the answer was usually "yeah, that's cool. Here... I don't know the doctors, and they don't know (or fully trust) me, like my old doctors. So that was a huge step back for me. And there were nights I felt so frustrated because I didn't feel I could be the nurse I COULD be...because of the orders. Hey, if you aren't a nurse and reading this, dont' blame your nurse when you are in pain, blame the doctors who refuse to give us orders to give you something for appropriate pain medicine... .just sayin.. And now, OFF the soap box... for now. hehe.
So, I have packed up all my belongings (minus the necessities like soap and such) and am ready to pack up and head to Kentucky. Thank you Hagerstown and the awesome people I've met. It's been a pleasure.
