So far, it's all lies....

For years, I've heard how pregnancy is the greatest time of a woman's life.  The mysterious "glow" that women experience during pregnancy.  How you feel the best in your entire life. 

So far, I call bullshit.

Now let me just clarify, I am not complaining about being pregnant.  It's a dream come true and I cannot wait until the baby is here.  I'm so excited.

The symptoms that come with pregnancy, however, is so far not a fun thing to experience.  I'm tired.  My boobs are killing me.  I feel like I don't know myself half the time because I feel super crabby because of my hormones.  I'm nauseated almost every waking moment.  Now, this had improved with Zofran, and I'm keeping food down, but I'm back to the nausea.  Smells set it off really intensely as well.  I can't stand the taste of coffee.....seriously tastes like I'm sucking on a rusty penny.  (And no, I've never sucked on a rusty penny to KNOW that's the same taste, but for argument sake, we'll just assume it tastes how I imagine).  I get hungry so often, but when I eat in a matter of bites I am asking "hmm.. am I about to puke or just have nausea right now?"  I'm up 3-4 times a night to pee so I'm super tired during the day.  Again, I'm so happy that we have created this little miracle that is causing all of these symptoms, but surely I am allowed to whinge about the symptoms at some stage without sounding ungrateful for the life I'm carrying?  I feel guilty at times for it, but I know I'm NOT complaining about the baby.. just the symptoms I am having. 

Yeah, yeah.  I know this is the beginning of the end for me for a full nights sleep.  I've heard all about it from every expert woman whether or not they have ever conceived/gave birth.  I'm not saying some of the advice hasn't been awesome or helpful.  But literally everyone has had advice to give.  A STRANGER the other day over heard me talking about something at work and decided to give her two cents as well.  Of course I smile and say "oh that's great advice, thanks for that".   

I will be 10 weeks on Wednesday.  I am hoping that means I only have a couple weeks of the miserable symptoms ahead of me.  I can easily see why people only have one child.  I know they say that once the baby comes you forget all of these things, and I can't wait for that.

In other news, I am participating in a blog challenge for Expats in February.  Here's the link but I'll upload the challenge calendar as well.  Now, those of you who have followed my blog for a bit, I can HEAR the laughter.  We all know very well my follow through on challenges... or LACK of follow through I should say!  And chances are, with only ONE free pass / get out of jail card, I will fail this challenge.  There are actually prizes up for it based on comments on the blogs and such, but I'm doing it more for a way to get back into blogging.   Hey, at least it's the shortest month of the year???? lol

Click here to see the blog challenge

Long time, no blog!

So, I have totally slacked at blogging.  I've been so busy with work in preparation for accreditation (that was today - and went AWESOME!) that the last thing I have really wanted to do is touch a computer or look at a computer screen when I get home from work.

The holiday's all came and went down under.  The weather was nice and we had a nice Christmas/New Years.  We did find out on Dec 16th............ that I am pregnant!!!   I am currently due on August 27, 2014.  We are still in shock just how fast things happened.   And "shocked" is an understatement!!   As a TMI background, I always had a lot of problems with female "issues".  My doctors always have said that when the time came, it would probably not be easy to conceive.  I was prepped for worst case scenario (IVF, or even the thought of never having children).  For five years I had had a Mirena.  It was due to come out in September, my doctor agreed that leaving it in until after the wedding would be fine (I didn't want to jack up my cycles RIGHT before wearing a wedding dress all day...lol).  So we went in on Nov 19 for the Mirena removal.  From there we decided to just let things happen if they were meant to.  To basically leave it to God.  Also, if we had trouble conceiving, then I would have to be on NO birth control for at least 12 months before I could get much testing or studies done.  And since I turn 34 this year, I was keen to start the process asap once we were married.   On Monday the 16th December, I was super nauseated, and reflected back to the day before where I was crying, moody, and just feeling out of sorts.  I wasn't due to start my period until a few days later, but having access to pregnancy tests at work, I took one.  Thinking it would be negative.  And shocked beyond words once I saw two lines.  But so so happy!

We shared with our family and close friends over the next few weeks, and this weekend went public with it on Facebook.  It feels really weird being away from my American friends and family and not being able to share the news with them face to face.  To have to do it all by phone or email or fb.  I know it's part of it, it's just not something I had actually ever thought about to be honest.

I've had three ultrasounds now, because I had some complications.  Baby has had a good heartbeat every time and growing perfectly on schedule.  I had some passing out, pains (from adhesions), bleeding (from placenta implanting apparently), 24/7 sickness (that has improved with Zofran), and lost 8 lbs in a week from being sick.  I will be 9 weeks tomorrow and am happy to report things are going in the right direction.  

I still can't fully grasp the fact that I'm growing a little person inside me.  How crazy?  I can't wait to hold him/her in August... and find out if he or she is a he or she!  We have opted to have a surprise.  Well, Wayne has always said he wanted to be surprised, and I could find out if I could keep it to myself.  If you know me, you know THAT would never happen, so a surprise it is.  But I'm ok with that.  There truly aren't that many surprises left in the world anymore, so a surprise it is!

Ok, that's it for now.  First trimester exhaustion is kicking my butt at the moment so I sense a nap in my future... my immediate future.

Until next time!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

This is my third Thanksgiving down under.  Wow.  Where has the time gone?  We celebrate the Saturday following Thanksgiving because everyone (including me..the cooker of the Turkey) has to work.  I would much rather have a four day weekend like all of my yank friends in the states, buttttt, Australian could care less about a meal shared between the Indians and Pilgrims.

Everyone on facebook has once again participated in the daily "Thankful" routine... where every day you post what you are thankful for.  I attempted to participate in this in the past a time or two.... but let's face it, how well do I follow with a daily posting?  Hell, if you are reading this blog, chances are you have been around when I have attempted some 30 day challenges.  I admit I have NEVER completed a 30 day blog challenge.  I think in the future I should go for a like, 2 day in a row challenge.  Cause, I think that's about the maximum endurance for following through with something online.  Plus, I was in Phuket on my honeymoon when the month started, so by default I was already late.  That's a fantastic excuse.  Yes, we will use that this year!  haha.

Also, I don't feel it's always necessary to pour my heart out to allll of my FB friends on a daily basis.  While I'm on my soap box, if you are reading this and are one of those who post every meal and every action that you are doing during the day.... ie "off to the post office"  followed by "this line is ridiculous"  followed by "finally done!" followed by "traffic is horrible!"...followed by each action of your day.... please stop.  We've all been guilty of over posting.. ok, most of us. But yeah, just stop.....

Anyways, I have a lot in my life to be thankful for.  Choosing not to participate in this fb ritual doesn't mean I am not thankful.  Just like forwarding and liking those pictures isn't going to solve world hunger or stop bullying (do people actually buy that shit?  I am guessing so because I see it like every DAY!.... the worst?  "like if you love god.  ignore if you don't believe in him"  I instantly feel guilty!  WTF.  I'm like, "well, I love god, but liking this doesn't prove my love...." and as I scroll past I'm like "wait, is this that whole denying God thing?"  It's quite conflicting being in my head sometimes.  And exhausting.  Very exhausting.

Anywho.. I swear I have a point with this post.. and I'm sure half the readers are already side tracked back to facebook or shiny things.  Even paint drying is possibly more interesting than my blog.  lol.

What I am going to do is post 12 things (in no particular order) that I am thankful for.  Please note me not listing something does NOT mean I am not grateful... just means my age is catching up with me or didn't cross my mind when I was typing.  Obviously I don't think these posts out in advance.  They aren't drafted and fine tuned.  Again, you've read my blog so you should totally know this......  I apologize in advance, but if you read through, there is a prize at the end.....

1.  I am thankful for an amazing husband.  He is so caring, kind, loving, and patient.  He will deny the patient part and say he has no patience.  However, to put up with me, you have to have the patience of a saint, let's be honest.  We started off our relationship as friends with a mutual love for Seven Mary Three.  That friendship grew over the years to where I thought of him as one of my best friends. Someone I could tell anything to and someone I could trust with my life.  That grew into much more in August of 2010.  It's been a journey with it's fair share of ups and downs, and it's fair share of airfare to go along with it.  He is someone who I still trust with my life and can tell anything to.  He has been my biggest supporter even before we became "us" and I am just so thankful for his love and his friendship.  I look back on my life and can see why I have experienced the things in my adult life that I have.  Because without those, I would have never met Wayne.  Everything in my life has literally led me here.  If I erased any of the bad experiences in my life, it would possibly have meant a totally different result.  So, it has taught me to be more appreciative of things (that normally you would NEVER be thankful for) because it is a part of why I'm here and have such an amazing husband and partner for life.  I am soooo excited about the future and look forward to sharing all the things ahead of us.... vacations and holidays as a married couple, our first house together someday, and even starting our own family.... so many awesome things ahead of us!!

2.  My dad.  Not my biological father, my DAD.  The man who CHOSE to be my dad and raise me, even though we share not one single strand of DNA.  The man who taught me that if you want something in life you have to earn it.  The man who NEVER treated me like a step daughter, but like his blood daughter.  The man who has always welcomed me back home (more times than he probably wishes though!).  He has always supported my dreams and taught me those loving phrases such as "you are your own worst enemy" and "sleep in the bed you made"... and of course, "pull my finger".  lol.  Even with his recent diagnosis of cancer, before we knew it was a good prognosis, he remained positive (and on the go, instead of resting.....).
3.  My mom.  She did not have an easy life growing up and always said she swore she would be nothing like her mother.  While we don't always see eye to eye (as most mother/daughter relationships) I can happily say she succeeded.  She has always been supportive of my dreams (along side with my dad) and while most parents would be devastated their daughter was moving 11K miles away, both she and my dad are simply happy I am happy, and willing to sacrifice me being present in their daily lives in exchange for the life I have here in Australia with Wayne and the future we have together.

4.  A career that has allowed me to meet thousands of people, touch several, be touched by many, and that has allowed me to provide for myself when I needed to, and most importantly a career that opened up many doors for me all the way here in Australia.  A career that has caused me to be a little more understanding and compassionate and to teach me that there are a lot more things in life to be thankful for that we take for granted.  Even the ability to walk, breath on our own, talk, and even just rationally think.  Sometimes we think we have such a difficult life and that things are so bad.  I am guilty of it.  But as a nurse, we then meet a patient who experiences difficulty in every day tasks, even feeding themselves.  Suddenly, we feel like an ass for even thinking how horrible of a life we have because of whatever minor detail we are currently annoyed at.

5.  My in-laws.  Apart from my parents, I really didn't have much stability in the form of family growing up.  Even when my grandfather died, it was full of drama.  My husbands family is amazing.  It's a very large group of amazing people who have accepted me as family since the second they met me.  It's great to be this far from the life I knew to have the support they give me.

6.  The ability to live in such an amazing country and meet some amazing people... Australia is UHHMAAYYZZZING.  This is easily the most gorgeous place I have ever had the pleasure of visiting, so having the chance to live here is just mind blowing.  It is a place I was fixated on visiting since 1998/1999 when Survivor was on TV and they had a season in Australia.  Of course, Perth is luckily nothing like the outback they showed on Survivor - or else I would never survive!! HAHA.  I am very thankful for such a great country I can now call home.  The weather is so gorgeous.  I have acclimated and the heat doesn't feel as hot anymore, but damn do I get cold QUICK!  TOTAL wimp.  Currently it is 21C/70F and I'm debating closing the windows because it feels like it's getting cool......... what the hell happened to me???!!!!  April three years ago would kick my ass and lock me outside in the snow.  LOL..  And don't get me started on the beaches.  Holy cow.  Every now and then if traffic is bad, I go a couple miles down the road to the coast road and take that home.  It take much longer but my god.... it's miles and miles (or kilometers and kilometers) of beach front views.  And the beaches here aren't build on like in America.  They are very much preserved.  You won't find apartments, houses, or hotels on the beach.  You will find.. the BEACH.  So all along your drive, it's just ocean, waves, sand, and the sun.  It makes any troubles disappear.  It's magical.  We also have National Health Insurance (that WORKS!), a good economy, cheap university studies... the list just goes on and on.  The cons of living here?  Yeah.. let me get back to you on that one..........(because I have yet to find one other than being so far away from everyone!)

7.  The ability to keep up with friends and family as easily as the internet and smart phones make it.  Seriously would not be able to live so far away if I had to wait on snail mail... nor would I have ever met my husband or been able to maintain a long distance relationship without the existence of internet forums, email, myspace (what's that, right?) facebook, skype, etc....

8.  My stubborn side.  While most times I curse my stubborn side, it truly has paid off.  When I set my mind on something, nothing stops me because I'm too damn stubborn.  This has paid off heavily for a personal battle and it's how I have managed to stand up for myself in the past and leave situations many women find it hard to leave. It makes me fight for things I believe in and resist things that I know I can't have in my life.   "I be damned....." has come out of my mouth more times than I can count.   I am not stubborn enough, however, to quit chocolate.  It has never quit or failed me, so I can't quit it.  ;)

9.  Humor.  "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."  I am thankful that I was born with a sense of humour, no matter how twisted (annnnnd inappropriate at times) it is.  I'm thankful those that are the dearest to me, including my best friends and husband, share this.

10.  Friends.  Let's face it, I have some of the most amazing friends in the world... and they are all over the world.  Literally!  I have some amazing friends back in the states and in the past 2 and 1/2 years of living in Perth, I have continued to meet some of the most fantastic people who I am so honored to call my friends, and many of which I consider family.

11.  Quotes/ Lyrics.  While most of you think this is quite ridiculous, quotes and lyrics have been a major part of my life.  I remember as a kid, and would get a new cassette tape (or eventually CD's) and I would take open the package and read every lyric of every song before I ever listened to it.  When I hear a song, I don't listen to just the beat and vocals, but to the lyrics and I try to break it down and work it out.  I truly enjoy it and in a way miss the times when I would read quote websites for hours on end and constantly seem to find inspiration, motivation, and sometimes hope when I needed it most.  And there it would be.  In some silly little quote.  I still have heaps of them saved and while I can't often quote them, I often know the basics and know exactly where and how to find them.  And no matter how many times I read them, I still find comfort in a lot of my favorites.

12.

To see your prize for reading through, please scratch here:

  Your prize was reading this.  Don't be greedy.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump. 

May your potatoes ‘n gravy have nary a lump. 

May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize. 

May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

I'm angry

I really don't get it, and while I'm trying to not jump to conclusions, my mind races a million miles an hour with a bazillion different scenarios.  Being a nurse has it's advantages.  We have a massive knowledge of the medical field.  We are caring and compassionate (most of the time).  We make horrible patients, but great care takers.  We know that.    But, it also has it's disadvantages and today is one where those are shining through.

My dad has been diagnosed with oral cancer and we don't know the full extent yet.  Will know more on Thursday.  I feel quite useless, but am trying to remind myself that even if I were with him right now, there isn't a thing I can do.  So now, we wait......  

Have I mentioned patience is not one of my traits?

Any prayers, well wishes, or whatever your personal belief is would be so appreciated.  Thanks in advance...

I'm married!

So, my promise to update more often OBVIOUSLY didn't happen.  The lead up to the wedding was busy busy busy, and with my parents and best friends here, it seemed the last thing I wanted to do was to be on the internet blogging about what was happening, but instead to be with people and actually live.  Who would've thunk it, huh??  haha.  

So, the wedding day came and when the alarm went off I went into go-go-go mode, and then I stopped myself and said "Nope, today, we relax and don't stress and ENJOY it...."  And ya know what?  I did.  Those who know me (and know how EASILY I stresssssss out) are reading this in shock OR assuming I'm full of shit, right?  lol.  Wayne texted me on the day and I told him I was relaxed and stress free.  He thought I was lying.  His best friend, Michelle (all the girls got ready at her house which she was nice enough to open for the madness!) told him I wasn't stressing, and he was surprised but deep down thought perhaps she was lying to him.  The weather was perfect.  Everything went great.  In the limo on the way to the wedding, there was sappy love songs playing.  I hollered to the driver (who was a lot of fun)  "Do you have something upbeat, like dance music?"  He turned down the music and looked at me through the rear-view mirror and said "is there something wrong?"  I said "no, this music is too sappy!  I want something to dance to"  He smiled and said "well, THIS is a first....." as he turned on the upbeat music.  

The ceremony went perfect and we both managed to get all the vows and words out... but not without difficulty.  We were both teary eyed, and looking at each other made us tear up more.  But the ceremony was great and exactly as we had planned.   After the ceremony we did a few hours of photos at UWA campus, a park near the city (which had a massive slide that we all went down. HELL yes we did! lol) and then Cottesloe beach before heading to the reception.  The food was great and the dance floor was packed all night.  It was a perfect day and we are both so happy with how it all turned out.     The flowers, the dresses, the make up, the music... I had it all in my head, and was so pleased that it all went together so well.  Everyone had a great time and we had a few friends say how much fun the wedding was and how nice it was to go to a wedding/reception that was FUN.  And that's what we wanted.  

We have only gotten one picture from the photographer (4 more weeks til we get those back) and a few from friends.  Below are a couple pictures from friends (and the first is the photographer's picture!)

The last picture is after my lovely husband crammed the cake in my face (and up my nose) after when I asked "are we cramming?"  and his answer was "No." ......................  lol.   I was blowing chocolate cake out of my nose for hours... but was hilarious. 

So this is a short and sweet catch up.  Tomorrow is back to work.  And the next entry I will update about the amazing honeymoon!!  Sorry for a short post about the wedding.  I am planning to go into more details once I have pictures to go with the story.  So, bare with me for a few weeks.  

For now, I'm signing off my first blog post as a Mrs. under this blog.  I am so very very happy.  We were married on the 27th of October 2013.  On the 27th of October 2010, I left America for my first trip to Australia.  So three years ago on that date, I was getting ready to fly to Australia.  Three years later, we exchanged vows on the same date.  Pretty cool.  :)

Until next time....

xoxo.
Mrs. April  :)

Oh.. hello blog.

So it would appear I kinda forgot about this blog.

And by forgot, I mean so busy that when I think of blogging, something else awaits.. like work, sleep, or another task on the list as long as my arm.

I returned back to Oz after being in America for three weeks.  The trip had some pros and cons.  Obviously the biggest con was the death of my grandpa.  The others were in no particular order.... my crazy grandmother convinced I was trying to kill my grandfather.  For the entire three weeks?  Crappy weather.  Off work without pay.  Terribly missed my fiance.  The pro's were I got to be there and say goodbye to my grandfather and be there for my mom.  I was able to help make my grandfathers last week on earth more comfortable as he wanted.  I was able to go to Kentucky for a week and spend time with lots of friends, and spend another week in Florida with my folks.  I try to look at the pros, but it's not always the easiest thing for me to do.

Anyways!  Back to Oz and hit work head on.  Was a rough few weeks transitioning back to work (for non-blog worthy reasons!!) but it's all going great at the moment, and I've been able to implement a LOT of things that I had wanted to do (and a lot of them have been time and cost savers, so that is good).

So, we have been engaged a little over nine months now.  When we started looking at venues and set the date, it seemed like ages away.  Like an eternity.... well, now it's nearly here!  Holy cow!  Three weeks from today!  My folks arrive on Friday and my best friend arrives on Saturday.    I had my final dress fitting on Saturday and the dress looks GREAT.  I've lost a bit of weight so it had to be taken in from the first alterations (always a good problem to have!)  For the most part, everything has been quite cruisy and I'm really looking forward to the day!

This weekend was exciting because we booked the honeymoon!!  Really looking forward to just taking some time to spend together (in paradise, mind you!) and relax and unwind together.  When it came time to book, I asked Wayne what he saw for the honeymoon and what was important to him.  He answered with exactly what I had in mind.  Something near the beach preferably, relaxing, comfortable, close enough to touristy stuff without being "touristy" and crowded.   Researched on trip advisor and then researched all the websites for hotels and airfare and then booked!!   It's in Phuket at a place called Radisson Blu.  Here's the link  -->http://www.radissonblu.com/resort-phuket

I can't believe how fast things are coming up.  There isn't a lot left to do at this stage, although throughout the entire process the small little things seem to be the ones that are the most time consuming and tedious.  So again, not a lot left to do, but still a few more little things.  I only have four and a half working days left and then off for four weeks.  Four whole weeks.  I am looking forward to the time with my parents and best friend, Heather.  I am excited for Heather to see Perth and see my life here.  I hope the weather cooperates, as we have been having very unseasonable weather in Perth!  In September, it rained 20 out of 30 days (VERY abnormal!).  It rained more in September than the entire winter of 2010!   Please, mother nature.. get your shit together.  Please and thank you.  :)

Ok, sorry for not keeping this blog up to date lately!!  Will try to do better as the festivities approach!!  :)

xoxo  

What a difference a day makes....

My last post was a pretty excited post.  Marking things off my bucket list, starting to recover from three really difficult weeks health wise.  Life was going pretty damn good.  That day I had gotten a text from my mom that her dad was in the hospital, but not really much details other than "possible pneumonia".  Nothing blog worthy at the time at least.  

The next day, sitting on the couch with Wayne waking up from my sleep in (as I do on most weekends... gotta get all these that I can until we have kids, right???) and I get a text from my mom who has finally made the six or so hour drive to the hospital from her home.  "He's really bad April".  She goes on to tell me a little, but it's second hand from my grandmother (who has no medical background and in her world "that one thing" describes a whole lot of things).  My mom goes on to tell me that my grandfather had been calling for me and they had to keep calming him down by telling him I was at work.  Well, this sent me off the deep end and I burst into tears.

Living abroad, there are times that you wish you could be "home".  Holidays is always one.  Routine events that were part of your life (parties, sporting events, tailgating, etc) are another.  There are times, though, where going back is a must.  This was one of them.  The following day at 5am we headed to the airport and I began the loooooooooong journey to try to beat the clock of my grandfathers death so I could say goodbyes in person.

Some of the flights I have taken over the years have been filled with a lot of emotions.  Some excitement, some sad.  This was a whole new feeling.  Spending hours in the air just wondering if he was still alive kept me from sleeping, kept me from eating, and just nearly drove me nuts.  Why can't there be a way to make a call or check the Internet from the freaking plane I thought so many times.   

I arrive in LA and find out he is still holding on, but they had to make the decision to stop all the medicines and IV's and blood transfusions, begin hospice, and do only comfort measures until he passed.  The doctors felt there was nothing they could do and because of the blood loss and pneumonia he wasn't a candidate for surgery as he would die on the operating table.  Bottom line, it was my Grandfather's time.  How much time though, is the answer of course that nobody ever knows.

I arrived at the hospital in Alexander City, Alabama on Sunday night around 11pm after around 36 hours or so of travel, little to no food, and little to no sleep.  We spent the next four days in the hospital.  As a nurse, I was the only one who understood what was going on and did the best I could to explain all the terms the doctors and nurse were using.  And when that wasn't simple enough to understand, I explained it again.  I cleaned him up after vomiting, I cleaned his mouth, I washed his face, I helped the staff boost him up in the bed and re-position every two hours.  I made sure that he got his breathing treatments and most importantly, his pain medicines.  As a nurse, I know that it's not an easy decision to ask for more pain medications for your family.  But as his grand daughter, I had to do what I felt was best and, furthermore, exactly what he wanted.  He made it clear to my grandmother before this that if the time came and there was nothing more that could be done, he only wanted to be made comfortable.  I have worked with hospice patients in the past.  Some of my coworkers hated it.  As a nurse you feel like you are fighting a losing battle.  No matter what you do, your patient is going to die.  You know it.  The family knows it.  And most times, the patients know it as well.  But for me, as hard as every patient death was, as a nurse, I felt a lot of honor in giving someone their dying wishes.  Our entire professional lives as nurses, we are fighting the human bodies that want to die.  We are fighting illnesses and diseases bigger than we are.  Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.  But this battle, we know right up front we will lose.  You get to help a family through a very difficult phase, and furthermore, you get to be a kind face to someone facing death.  I can't imagine how horrible it must feel to know you are about to dye.  I mean, we all know it will happen to us someday.  But to know it is your time, just must be terrifying.  THIS is your chance as a nurse to have a positive impact on someone and their family.  You are giving someone their dying wishes.  The last thing that they will ever get to have any say so in.  Who wouldn't want to honor that?  That doesn't mean it's easy.  I'm not sure if I have ever had a patient die that didn't cause me to cry.  We are nurses, but that doesn't mean we aren't human and don't feel emotions.........

We just usually tend to do it in privacy and remain the strong front for everyone else.

On Thursday July 11 at 7:15 my grandfather opened his eyes so bright after over 15 hours of not waking.  He looked straight to the ceiling, and just like that, he passed.  

He was a kind man.  I never heard him say a negative word about a single person.  On the day before he died he had what is known as a "rally".  The calm before the storm.  He was awake and talking.. and alert.  The nurse asked him "How are you?"  He smiled and said "oh, I'm alright...."  When he would see his family, he had tears roll down his cheeks.  He knew we were there for him.  But yeah, even on his death bed when he is in so much pain, he couldn't and wouldn't complain.  He loved his family and God.  One of the kindest and most gentle men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and being related to.  

There is quite a lot of behind the scenes drama that went on.  I have decided that my blog isn't the place to post it.  It's more that the week in Alabama was very emotional for me, and rehashing it on here will only cause me more irritation and frustration than anything.  It wouldn't accomplish anything, so therefore I will just let it go.

Sorry, didn't realise this post was gonna be so long!! If you are still reading, you deserve a metal or a cookie.  Or both.  It's your choice... go get it yourself.  haha.

Anyways.  Because the week was quite rough, after the funeral I decided to come to Lexington for a week and during the last week of the visit to the states I would go to my parents house in Florida.  I really miss Perth and my friends, but have been glad to catch up with my friends here.  I've now lived in Perth for almost 2 years, and in those two years I have lost a very dear friend, Denise, and now my grandfather.  A rate of one death a year.  I don't like that rate one bit.  But I guess it made me realise that life, while long, is too short for the drama.  Plus, I was smart enough to admit to myself that I was approaching mental breakdown point.  

Being back in the states is really different this year.  I am not sure why.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have worked so damn hard to adjust to life in Australia.  All the things that use to be my "normal" now seem so strange and foreign.  Driving on the right side of the road.  Unlimited soft drink refills.  Large food portions.  Terminology that I have had to learn to use as a part of my daily language are now questioned by people "what does that mean?".  I have caught myself having to think What word do I use to describe "x".   A lot of small things.  It probably sounds weird and stupid, but it really is hard to describe.  While I am enjoying myself and catching up with friends and family, I really am missing Wayne and my Perth home and family.  I know it's part of living abroad.  You can't combine everyone you love into one place, so you learn to live with them spread across the globe.  It's just how it is.  I land in approximately six days.  On one hand it sounds super close, and the other super far away.  I am not ready to go back to work, because I can only imagine what working three days out of six WEEKS is going to result in when I return.  But I am ready to see my amazing fiance.

But for now, to bed for me!  Another busy day of friends and family tomorrow as my time in the bluegrass state is drawing to an end.  Until next time...