100th post...

So I've reached my 100th post on *this* blog.  No clue how many the other ones have had, but happy 100th post to Aprildownunder.  Really wish I had a more up beat and happy post on this blog birth...err... postday.. but I don't.....

Gonna post lyrics, but also feel the need to vent.  I'm so discouraged lately.  Things aren't where I thought they should or would be with me and Wayne, and I'm ok with that....sort of.... ok, not really.  But this whole "limbo" thing, I'm just not really handling.  I'm a black and white person.  So not knowing what the future holds, really doesn't sit well with me.  And maybe it's not a fact of not knowing the future, but not knowing what today holds.  I'm a planner.  Always have been.  Always will be.  And every day lately it's an "i don't know"....  I am respecting his request for time, but I almost feel it's a delay of the inevitable, if that makes any sense.  I'm tired of crying because I don't know.  Things aren't over, but things aren't moving forward at the same time... hence, the limbo....  Every day I spend too much time finding myself in tears.  I just wish I knew.  My friends and family I'm sure are tired of hearing me cry and vent... thank god for true friends that have been here for me.

I don't claim to be perfect.  I just claim to be me.  Is that not enough?

So, I think I'll post with a couple of song/lyrics today... just because..well, it's my blog and I can post what I want.  :)

And..another song....

Still speechless...

A lot is going on, but yet I still don't feel like blogging.. so today I leave you with a clip of the FAVORITE scene to one of my FAVORITE movies... give it a watch...

One more song....

Perhaps I should stop watching CMT in the morning and discovering songs that make me more sad?  Then again, I am my own worst enemy.. in lots of ways....

Four days.....

Four days later, and it still hurts.  Four days later, and yes I still cry.  Four days later and yes my mind is occupied.  Four days later and blogging lyrics seems to be all I want to blog.  Four days later I am still questioning why if my heart doesn't actually/physically break, why does my chest physically hurt.  Four days later I'm still slowly letting go of all the dreams and plans that were shared because I know they are gone, with nothing but memories to remain.  Four days later there is nothing but pain to remain in the place where love once lived and grew stronger daily.  Four days later and I'm thinking, why do we bother with love in the first place, when all it does it cause pain? 

Maybe in a few more days time, things will be better.  God, I'm not sure how it could be any worse.

"I'll be seeing you"

-Cindy Thompson

"I'll be seeing you
Hey don't forget your coat
I'll be seeing you
Feels like it's turning cold
I hate that you're leaving
With so much unsaid
And this strange empty feeling
Won't let me forget that
I'll be seeing you

I'll be seeing you
Oh that beautiful smile
I'll be seeing you
Sure as I'm seeing you now
Around every corner
Wherever I go
Every moment of everyday
Darlin' I know
I'll be seeing you
I'll be seeing you

Oh that nights I'll cry
But maybe just maybe in time
I'll be fine

I'll be seeing you When I close my eyes
I'll be seeing you
I've got you memorized
I'll always love you
I know you know that
And I know in my heart
That you're not coming back
And in everything I do
I'll be seeing you"


One more before bed...

Because CMT.com tonight is hitting a lot on the head....

Rascal Flatts -

"Here comes goodbye"

 

"I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And its not like her to drive that slow,
Nothin's on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell


Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain,
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
That she was right here in my arms tonight,
But here comes goodbye

I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play here comes the bride

But here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
That she was right here in my arms tonight,
But here comes goodbye


Why does it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on, yeah and you're left alone
Oh, all alone,
But here comes goodbye

Oh-oh-oh-oh


Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
That she was right here in my arms tonight,
But here comes goodbye"

please..just watch and listen....

Yes, I've posted these lyrics, but please listen to lyrics along with the song/music....