Today I dropped Wayne off at the airport for a week away at work. The same airport that has previously meant us parting in tears. But today it was just for the week for work. Makes it soo much easier. I will say (and I know he had no clue) I *almost* broke down as we rode the escalator up to the lounge..to my right I could see the lime green couches that we sat on in March prior to my departure. The lounge that he held me on as we both cried. The couch that as I layed on his shoulder that I *almost* said "take me home". It's amazing how many details of things I remember.....
Anyways... tonight I am posting a blog copied from my old blog that was started early 2005.... and this is a copy/paste from my love.. my how crazy life is... and although I'm approaching my 31'st bday (yikes!!!) I still see myself in my 20's (hey..you are as old as you feel!!).... Found this a nice read...
"Being 20-something:It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.What you don't recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot don't seem as fun. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Pass this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion..."Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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